HOME!!

Our time in Ecuador was bittersweet. We absolutely loved it there, but hated our living conditions. It is so difficult to live out of a hotel room, especially when introducing a new child into your family and trying to establish rules and boundaries. We are also incredibly grateful for the amount of time we did get to spend with her before coming home, but once again it was in the confinement of a hotel room and multiple public settings. I had planned to stay in Ecuador for 8 weeks. Our in-country staff was so amazing though, they got everything done for us in 5 weeks. Which was good, because by that point I was going stir-crazy. Ryan had to leave after 4 weeks, so that left just E and I for that last week. We had only the one appointment, so we spent the rest of the time ordering room service, swimming in the pool, and just playing.

We finally arrived home at 2:30 a.m. on February 21st. Emilia and I had an incredibly long trip home -- 25 hours to be exact. When we got here she was so excited to see her house and her clothes and her toys ... Bedtime was kind of a distant joke. She finally went down close to 4:00 a.m., but was up bright and chipper by 7:00. Every day since we've had her, she wakes up between 7:00 and 7:30, no matter what time she goes to bed. The time change has also done nothing to her.

We're taking our time getting settled and organized (although this part is driving me crazy). Remember my post about being a control freak? It's kicking in full force since we've been home. Everything is so unorganized, and really there's just no time to do it. Does the exhaustion ever go away? I'm having a hard time deciding what to do when she goes down for a nap ... I should sleep because I'm tired (exhausted really), but right now it is the only time I can get anything done.

We've had lots of firsts already. Every day is a new adventure, and we are so blessed with our little monkey!!

More Fun Facts

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I signed up to do an Independent Study on Latino Culture to incorporate with our stay in Ecuador. I've had to keep a journal for each week here about my experiences. While so much of our time has solely been about Emilia, we've definitely learned some interesting things about Ecuador. I wrote a Fun Facts post back in August -- this is my very own version, in no particular order:

*In most public bathrooms they do not have toilet paper. About 50% don't have toilet seats either. This is problematic when you have a 4-year old who "needs" to use the bathroom often.

*Men do not have facial hair (we did meet one who did have a short beard, but the next time we saw him it was gone).

*Baldness also seems not to exist.

*Public buses will stop for nearly anyone who flags them down, even if they are not at a posted bus stop. But if you want on, you better be prepared to take a running jump for it!

*Nobody has change. Anywhere. Even if you are in a store, or at the mall, they likely will not be able to break your $20 bill. Also, if your total is $2.99, they call it $3.

*When shopping, prices already include the tax (12%). Something that rings up on the cash register as $2.99 is posted as $3 and the sales clerk charges you $3 (see above).

*Roadside crews use machetes to cut down the weeds. Big, huge machetes.

*All of the mannequins and models are blonde hair and blue eyed. Even the majority of the babies and barbies sold in stores here are blonde. I was extremely disappointed when shopping for a dolls.

*There is no point to having lines in Ecuador, because people don't bother to respect them and just walk right in front of you. Nobody makes a fuss about it though, because everyone does it.

*While they use US currency, it seems as though there aren't any $1 bills in circulation. Whenever you get change that requires $1 bills, you instead receive $1 coins.

Speaking of learning, we're not the only ones!! This is a video of E. So you understand, she is one of the fastest, messiest eaters. Ever. So we've been working on slowing down and chewing our food. Of course when I decided to start this I couldn't remember the Spanish word for chew, so I just said chew. E thought I was saying choo, as in choo-choo train. So now, when she eats, she says "choo ... choo ..." and does the motion with her hand as you see below :)

 

 

 

I've also started with some simple sign language ... so far "please" and "thank you". I only used the Spanish por favor, and gracias, but she must have heard me say thank you, and started saying it herself!!

 

Every day is a new adventure!!

 



Olón

Last week Friday was the start of Carnaval. It is a "festive season that begins just before Lent". It is also accompanied by a water war, which in recent years has evolved into a water fight including food coloring dyed water and even flour. The people on the streets of Ecuador throw water at each other, spray each other with squirt guns full of dyed water, or throw flour on you. Our in-country personnel advised us to leave the city during this time ... So we went to the coast and stayed a nice little hostel in Olón, called The Sea Garden House. It was right on the beach, and we absolutely loved the city. It was a very small little village, tucked away in a corner on a beautiful beach!! Unfortunately, we did not get many pictures of the actual beach, and most disappointing of all, no pictures of E on the beach or in the ocean!!! Both of us thought the other would take the pictures ... and of course neither of us did.

Here are some of the photos we did manage to capture:





E "playing Carnaval" with some of the other girls at The Sea Garden House





There is a local orphanage in Olón and The Sea Garden House works
with the children there. They spent the day at the beach and then
had fresh fruit and ice cream. E loved playing with all of the "niñas"

This is what happens when you give a 4-year old markers to pintar with!

 

 

 

Real Talk

Holy bananas -- we are EXHAUSTED!!

And we're struggling.

Emilia has some significant things going on, and we're not quite sure yet what they are. There are obvious developmental delays, but it is more than just "institutionalization". She has serious control issues, and what we've discovered recently that she knows what she doesn't want, but actually has no idea what she does want. Since day one, whenever there was a lull, she would tug on our arms and say "vaminos". That first week, she would say that at least two times for every hour. And when we didn't go, she would grab her privates and say "pee pee" or "ca ca" as embarrassingly loud as she could. She clearly did not have to use the bathroom, but has obviously learned that if she says that, she doesn't have to continue with what is currently happening. Each week has improved slightly as we try to communicate with her. Communication is difficult though. Her communication skills are so lacking, even in her native language. We have a very hard time making sure she understands things.

If she *thinks* we're going to do something that she may not like, she flips out and melts down.

And by meltdown, I don't mean that she cries a little. She thrashes and throws herself to the ground crying so hard that she cannot catch her breath. She refuses to be consoled, and certainly cannot be reasoned with. And it lasts an unbelievably long time, usually more than thirty minutes. Best episode yet? In the middle of the waiting room at the passport office! This also included slapping, pinching and biting.

Bedtime and naps.
Getting her down for bed is the worst. And so far every day has been worst than the previous. Just to be clear, it isn't just pitching a fit because she doesn't want to go to bed, it's absolute terrifying screaming bloody murder type crying. Then thrashing. Then whispering. Then screaming and crying. Then begging for something, anything. Then pretending to sleep. Then tossing and turning. Then screaming at the top of her lungs. We've tried letting her "cry it out", we do the co-sleeping as she often requests whichever one of us isn't the one putting her to bed. Then she wants to be alone. Then she wants to be with one or the other of us. Then it starts all over again

Bottom line is that we're really just embarrassed. We were embarrassed by what people must think of us. I can imagine it looks pretty terrible. When she does these things in public, we obviously try to diffuse, but what she wants is to go, and we obviously cannot do that. We try walking with her. Try sitting with her. Try just holding her. She wants up, then swats at your face, and kicks uncontrollably to get down. Then we put her down, and she tries to crawl up our legs. We're embarrassed at what bad parents we look like, especially in government offices where we are trying to convince them to allow her to leave their country.

We're just exhausted.

For the past week and a half we have been counting on the fact that we will all be home soon, and our lawyers are so awesome that we were going to have everything set to go for us, all of us, to travel tonight (at midnight). We learned late last night that someone important, at some big office, has not received a document that was needed to sign the Article 23 letter. This letter is what we need to get E's visa and leave the country.

Icing on the cake is that E and I have to stay, while daddy boards a plane home.
I cried for nearly an hour last night. We just want to go home, and start to get into a real routine, and hopefully start to see some behavior improvement. We all need some consistency. We need the support of our friends and family. We need to go home.

Adoption Stuff

This week was full of "adoption stuff", our lawyers are keeping us very busy!! Last week Friday we had our first court appointment, where the judge gave the verbal resolution for our case.

Monday: We had our first appointment with the international adoption physician. Aside from the things that we already know, doctor says she looks good and seems healthy. They accepted our vaccination waiver, as long as I promised them that we would be sure and get her vaccinated as soon as we return to the states. This was great because she screamed like crazy when she got the TB  test done. I can't imagine what kind of damaged she would have done with additional shots and/or blood work.

Tuesday: Tuesday wasn't exactly full of adoption stuff, but we met breafly with our lawyers to go over some details for the coming week/s and then visited Parque de las Iguanas (Iguana Park). This is E's first reaction ...

Wednesday: Return to the doctor to have TB test read and drop off additional paperwork for the court.

Thursday: Return to court to sign additional papers.

And finally Friday: We spent the day at the Civil Registry in order to receive E's cedula (Ecuadorian ID card). We will need this next week when we get her passport and Visa in order to leave the country!! If all goes well, we may be able to be outta here soon. Our lawyers can't make any promises, but boy are we hoping!! We are loving it in Ecuador, but living out of a hotel room is incredibly hard, and our daughter needs to get home, and start to get in a real routine.

Some random pictures from this week:

 

 

Introducing ...

Emilia

Some photos over the last two weeks

 

 

Taken today 2.4.13

Just two short weeks from meeting her mamá and papá

¡El Sol!

Yesterday, for the first time in two weeks we finally had sun in Guayaquil!! It was only for about an hour, but we went outside in the swimming pool ... and of course got sunburned!! It was so late in the afternoon and for such a short period of time, we didn't even think about sunblock. It's a good thing that our little girl has beautiful brown skin, and was not affected by the hot, hot Ecuadorian sun!

We're having fun in Ecuador, although it is hard to live out of a hotel room. We call it "our apartment" so that E doesn't get confused about what "home" is. For now this is home -- it's where we eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, shower, etc., but we want her to know that home is home. In cold Wisconsin.

She's coming out of her shell more and more each day. She has a strong personality and either loves things or pretty much hates them. So far, the loves far outweigh the hates!! She loves: babies (toys and humans), dolls, coloring, her photo book, other children, shoes (preferably trainers), showers, pools, eating, mannequins (most recently discovered at the mall), sunglasses (although only wearing on her head, not over her eyes), walking (we've gone to the park several times and she just likes to walk circles around the park holding daddy's hand), and she loves giving mamá and papá besitos (small kisses).

So far the biggest "hate" is sleeping. We have a very hard time getting her down for naps and bedtime. She also dislikes wearing long sleeve shirts, which is going to be a huge adjustment since the current temperature at home is only 3 degrees.

Our adoption process continues to move forward and we're very thankful for our in-country staff. Crossing our fingers that everything continues as smoothly as it has so far!!!