Dance Party!

We had a crazy dance party at our house last night. Here's a sneak peak!

9 Months

On the 21st Arsin turned 9 months old! We just cannot stand the wait any longer! About a week ago we received an email from our coordinator about the goings on of adoption in Kyrgyzstan. Here what she had to say:

We believe that by mid-January the MOE will begin issuing letters, presumably providing letters for all families with all agencies who have been waiting to bring their children home. Then they will be reviewing dossiers and providing letters for families who do not yet have referrals. They have lists from all the agencies as to who is who.

There has been some confusion with the Kyrgyzstan gov't as far as who should sign letters...since the President has gotten involved, we hope that this will be resolved! They have a few holidays to celebrate which should bring them back to work about January 12th. We will be sending Ambassador Zamira a thank you letter for all of her help in this matter!

Christmas...

Christmas was kind of crazy for us. We typically travel to Kenosha to visit with my family. Ryan was offered a position in La Crosse - his home town - about a week before Christmas. We had the intent to say yes to that job and figured we would be moving soon. Ryan decided he needed to stay and work to get everything finalized before 2009 and the new Chief Professional Officer for this Boys & Girls Clubs. Needless to say I traveled to Kenosha by myself in very icky weather! Ryan and I decided to turn down the job from La Crosse so we spent Christmas apart for no reason at all. I ended up bringing back my two nieces and my brothers from Kenosha to spend the week with us. We have a house full of kids and it is CRAZY! In about a half hour we are going to see The Tale of Despereaux at the movie theatre!

Merry Christmas Arsin!

Merry Christmas, little boy! We love you so much and wish we could be with you for your first Christmas. Hang in their buddy, we'll be over to get you real soon.

Love,
Daddy

Let It Snow...(long, overdue post)

It is a nice snowy day here in Northwestern, WI. Last night I shoveled off the desk so that the dogs could get to the back yard and to my suprise this morning it is completely covered again. Nice timing for Ryan to be gone for the weekend and I have to do all of the shoveling for myself :)



Thursday was Ryan's birthday and we were in La Crosse for the day. We ate at the Freight House and it was sooo good! Our brother-in-law knew our waiter, so we got extra big portions of everything. This place is one of my favorite restaurants in the whole world. My husband is just awesome enough to eat there when it's his birthday. He is continuing his birthday celebration this weekend at the cabin, hunting. He called last night about 11:00 p.m. and was just getting back from taking the four wheeler for a ride...and let me tell you, it is not warm out there! He's crazy!

I broke down in tears (imagine that!) over the lack of movement in this adoption. I was talking to Ryan on the phone and he just kept saying that I have to have faith. I gotta tell you though, I'm pretty positive most of the time about it...but I just feel like it's so hard to believe it's all going to work out when nothing has been moving. I realize that some people have recently returned home with their babies, and that should be good enough news. The problem is NOTHING has been happening and it is so frustrating. Any "updates" we get from our agency is so generic and doesn't say anything. We got another "update" on Thursday that just said that the head position in the Ministry of Education must be filled before they will give the final signatures to the dossiers. The problem is this position isn't getting filled...or certainly taking an incredibly LONG time to fill! We also got an update from the JCICS:

December 3, 2008 - Joint Council has confirmed that the U.S. Embassy in Kyrgyzstan has been requesting further information on the current state of intercountry adoptions from the Kyrgyz government. At this time, it is our understanding that the Kyrgyz Parliament has concerns regarding the governmental control of Adoption Service Providers in the republic.

In meetings with Kyrgyz officials, the US Embassy stressed that the current actions are causing fiscal and emotional distress to potential adoptive parents. Kyrgyz officials have been unwilling to comment as to the processing of cases already in progress. However, a governmental working group will be forming in the coming weeks. We do not expect any official statement to come from this working group before the end of 2008.

We're not exactly sure what this means for us. Looks like we won't hear anything though until 2009...well that's a shocker!

There is no question whether or not we belong to this little boy. We are a family, just currently in a long distance relationship. My heartbreak is not knowing when it will happen so that I can bring him home! We will be going to Mexico on January 9th for Heather's (Ryan's sister) wedding. We thought that without question Arsin would be with us for this trip. We even bought him little swim trunks, and hats to wear. Now I'm thinking that this won't happen, and it makes me VERY SAD! Not that it is exactly ideal to take a baby to Mexico, but we wouldn't have had a choice. Heather is getting married and we will be there for the wedding. Maybe by some miracle we will have him home and he can come with us!

99 Meme

I was reading April's blog and I thought this would be interesting to try:

The rules are simple: bold the things you've done. Explanations are optional. Fun is guaranteed.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii (not yet!)
5. Watched a meteor shower (don't think so?)
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (every year!)
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain (not a huge one, but I climbed one...actually we got engaged on Electric Peak in St. George, UT)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo(in middle school!)
11. Bungee jumped (twice in Wisc. Dells)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (I'm not very creative!)
15. Adopted a child (duh, currently in process)
16. Had food poisoning (unfortunately)
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight(who hasn't?)
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon(just this October in fact)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (slow pitch softball!)
32. Been on a cruise (Caribbean tour)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance (never, knock on wood!)
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class (self defense when I was in middle school)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason (I do have a lovely husband)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (very scary!)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper (most recently for the marathon I ran)
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one (not anyone really close thankfully)
94. Had a baby (vaginally? no)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (I was stung when I was 5 and it turns out I am very deathly allergic! I haven't been stung since...knock on wood!)

Well it turns out that I am not a very cultured person! I need to get my butt out into the world a bit more!!

How about you guys?

8 Months!

Happy 8 months baby boy!!! Hold on...we're coming soon for you! Mom and dad LOVE YOU!

Local Legend

Ryan has had the honor of being name a Local Legend! We've only really been here for three years, so he must've made an impact on someone! Last night at Country Kitchen from 5-8 p.m., if you presented your Local Legend Voucher, 20% of your guest check was donated to the Boys & Girls Club. Now Country Kitchen is not the most fancy place, and to be honest, I was actually scared to eat there! There was a handful of people who came out in support of Ryan and it was really cool. He had his picture posted in the front of the restaurant, and even signed an autograph! Now we just have to make sure that it doesn't go to his head :)

No baby news...still nothing, nada, zilch, zip, zero. Please continue to pray and have good thoughts, vibes, mojo, juju, etc., that things get moving soon!

This weekend most men will be headed out for the opening weekend of deer season - well rifle season - My darling husband included. Originally I was going to go to the cabin too just to hang out, read some books, do a little nothing. I've also been invited to a "Men go hunting, girls drink Wine" party on Saturday. At this point I'm debating whether or not to go. It's nice to go to the cabin and really do nothing...although sometimes I do end up cooking for the boys and cleaning up after them! I haven't hung out with any girls in some time and I could use that too. If I stay here there are plenty of things that I can do around the house. There's a heaping pile of clothes that need to be ironed, kitchen that needs to be organized and cleaned, baby's room still put together...decisions, decisions. Either way I plan to have myself a good weekend!



An almost hidden fist...but still a fist!

UGH

Well, well...I got a stunning email today with the following news:

Alert: Kyrgyz Adoptions Appear Stalled
November 14, 2008

The Department of State recommends adoptive parents and agencies exercise caution in pursuing an intercountry adoption from Kyrgyzstan. A number of prospective adoptive parents have reported that their cases are not being processed. The U.S. Embassy has requested official clarification, but no formal announcement has been made.

According to local experts, few if any cases are being processed at this time. Further, the government of Kyrgyzstan appears to be making moves to strengthen its internal controls of and develop new legislation on adoptions. It has been reported that Kyrgyz citizens may have been denied the opportunity to adopt during the past year, even while some intercountry adoptions by non-citizens were being approved. At this time it is not clear what action will be taken on pending cases or if the Government of Kyrgyzstan will accept any new cases.

The U.S. Embassy continues to monitor the situation and will provide clarification as soon as it is received.

Suck! Over the past week other PAP's have been talking about contacting our US Senators, Representatives, and other US government officials about the status of international adoption in Kyrgyzstan. Others have been talking about writing letters to the Kyrgyz Ambassador, Kyrgyz Embassy, US Embassy in Kyrgyz, Joint Council for International Children's Services (JCICS), Ministry of Education, etc...I just have to say that I really hate that it has gotten to this point! It's so heartbreaking to hear this news, when all we're trying to do is stay positive. We want our little guy home, along with the 60+ other babies waiting to come home. Ugh. Nothing more to say, but ugh!

Ryan and I are heading to the cabin in Black River tonight with our pups. He'll be hunting and I'll be snuggled up by the fire reading a book...all the while thinking of Arsin...

Nothing, nada, zilch, zero...

No news. These days, no news isn't necessarily good news. I was just at the grocery store and decided to stop and print off pictures of Arsin. I know, I know, I'm a bad mom. I don't have any hard copies of the pictures...I just gaze at them on my computer. Anywho, I put my little jump drive in the machine and I burst into tears - out of nowhere! The young man behind the counter must've thought that I was a crazy lady. he quickly came over to help me with the machine. Clearly he thought that was what I was crying about.

This wait is the hardest thing I think that I have ever had to do. I've been through bad relationships, I've been hurt by my friends, I had a challenging childhood...but nothing, I mean NOTHING, compares. We got updated photos and measurements from an adoptive mommy that was in Kyrgyzstan last week visiting with her daughter again. I just cannot believe how much he's growing up. He looks very healthy and happy. I have been reassured by the mommy's that just traveled that although the circumstances are not exactly ideal, our kiddos are being taken care of and the caregivers seem to really care about the babies. I was also told that Arsin seemed to really like his caregiver which is so HUGE! Still, even as I write this I'm tearing up.

The reality is that there are no answers. Apparently there is an on-going investigation and we can't move forward until that is all squared away. I just want them to square it and move on. I realize that it is totally a culture difference and I probably could never wrap my American mind around it. At this point all I can do is pray and send good vibes, mojo, juju, you name it. My heart just breaks, and I pray that we can have him home before Christmas.

On another note...
Last night Ryan and I were snuggling on the couch and just like any other time we get close, our two dogs came jumping right in. Ryan was reclinging, I was sitting over him and the two dogs on my lap laying their heads on his chest. I wish I could have taken a picture! Ryan and I can't get close or kiss without one of our dogs jumping in on the action. While we were laying there dozing off on the couch I asked Ryan where Arsin fits in this snuggle group. He quickly answered, "Right here of course," meaning on the other side of him. Then he proceeded to tell me that Arsin will snuggle him like this until he's 18 years old and that he will love his dad so much. Of course I'm sure he'll love him, but snuggling until he's 18?...don't count on it pal! We talk about Arsin like he's already here and we've already made all kinds of plans. We say goodnight to him every night (to the pictures on the computer of course). We just cannot wait until we can kiss him and hold him and snuggle him. Life almost seems strange without him here....

GObama!

What an exciting day in history! I'm certainly not one to get overly involved in politics, but I think that this is definitely history in the making and I'm glad to be a part of it.

This past weekend we were in Cary, IL for J and Hannah's reception. They got married on October 21st in Hawaii. We are so glad to be a part of their celebration. J is one of Ryan's best friend's from high school and he was also the best man in our wedding. I also got to meet a lot of Ryan's classmates...



We also had the chance to spend some time with my nieces from Kenosha. They stayed at the hotel with us on Friday and we swam and played all afternoon on Saturday. It's amazing how much things quiet down once the kid leave :) We are in for a very rude awakening..one that we absolutely are much anticipating!



No news on the adoption front. We haven't received any updates in quite some time and it is so easy to get discouraged. Right now there are some fellow PAP's visiting their babies for an interim trip. I received an email today from one of them and she let us know that she has gotten photos of Arsin and most of the other AA babies! She was also able to get some updated measurements. It's so awesome to have such good virtual friends to check in on our little ones. The wait gets tougher and tougher. Some days are certainly harder than others. Please pray that we are able to bring him home soon! In the meantime, we have confidence that he is being taken care of at the Bishkek Baby House. The last family that traveled and got pictures for us also said that Arsin is in a smaller room than all the other kids. I believe there are only 4 or 5 other babies. We also have pictures of him with his caregiver, Z.

Here's a picture of Ryan and I at J & Hannah's reception...for whatever reason we have very few pictures of us together!

Chicago...ish

Tomorrow morning I'm headed to Cary, IL. Ryan has been in Schaumburg for training this whole week, and this weekend we'll be going to J's wedding. We're totally psyched to see old friends. J and Hannah were married in Hawaii this past week and now they're having a reception to celebrate with family. On my way there, I'm going to swing through my hometown and stop at a super great outlet mall. I have a dress, but don't love it - if I do end up wearing it, I'll need some bronze pumps. Otherwise they have a BCBG outlet mall with 100's of dresses! I'll also be sure to go to the Gap, um, and get baby outfits too of course :)

No news on our travel dates. Of course there are rumors, but there are always rumors. I think that I cry at least every other day. I still have not brought myself to putting together Arsin's crib. It's really hard! I got a call from Ryan today on my lunch and he had also had a hard day...all the emotions just came up at once for him. We really need time together to process everything. This weekend will be good for us. Time away from home, in a hotel...one that actually allows dogs! Dora and Gipsi are very excited for our road trip to see Daddy tomorrow.



It's so hard to get them to pose together. Took me 10 minutes to get this picture because they just kept fighting each other :)

October 13th

Two years ago on Friday, October 13th, Ryan and I said "I do". This year we celebrated at home with our two puppies. We were sad, because this was the day that we envisioned traveling to pick up Arsin. Obviously that did not happen. We haven't even heard from our agency for two weeks. No emails. No news. The wait is getting tougher and tougher, as we knew it would. It's very heartbreaking. We don't have a clue when we'll travel and we just keep being told that "we'll be contacted as soon as they know something." I just wish they knew something NOW! Our baby boy is continuing to grow and he needs his mommy and daddy. We are trying to stay in good spirits, and we are constantly asked..."So...when's the big day?" It's so hard to tell people over and over again that "we don't know, and we don't know when we'll know".

5:07:16...

Not exactly the time I was hoping for...but I suppose it's pretty good for someone who hasn't run in six weeks!!!

First I need to back up a couple of days. I had my cortisone shot on Wednesday that left me with a very sore booty! By Friday it seemed to pretty much subside. I worked right up until midnight on Friday night (not ideal, but I didn't have a choice). We completely forgot about getting someone to take care of Dora and Gipsi. How do you forget that?!?!? We got that figured out and had a young girl stay at our house for the weekend. Saturday morning we got up and packed. I absolutely suck at packing and it never fails that whenever we go somewhere, I forget something important! Friday night I actually had Ryan make me a list so that I at least had something to go by (he's so good to me!) Well...this trip wasn't any different than any other. After about 45 minutes of driving I realized that I forgot my sports bra. Duh. I'm very particular about that bra too. Every long run I've done throughout my training, I wear the same bra and the same shorts...

We got to Minneapolis at about 11:30 and we headed right to the Target Center to get our race packets. We were with Jen (one of my running buds), her husband and their two daughters. We walked around the expo, got a t-shirt, watched a speech given by Kristin Armstong, and I found a bra that I though might work. So stupid though, who forgets their sports bra?? It turns out that the bra was the least of my issues on race day!

The forecast said 60% chance light rain. We headed to the Metrodome at 6:30 to get ready for the race. The clouds didn't seem too bad and it wasn't actually that cold out either. We were debating whether or not we wanted to start with pants on or just shorts, long sleeve shirts, or just our short sleeves, gloves or no gloves, hat or no hat. We all started in just our shorts, long sleeves (short sleeves under) our running hats, and we shared a pair of gloves between the three of us. The race started at 8:00 a.m. sharp and still no rain. We ran no longer than 10 minutes before it started to come down. Within minutes it was an all out down pour!! Unfortunately that down pour lasted for four hours. At first I was furious, but then I realized that there was nothing I could do about the rain and I told Jen and Kristin that we need to just make peace with the rain because it isn't going to stop. I was right. I don't think that the rain stopped until about mile 20. It was really cold at first too. My shirt was soaking wet and just hanging off me. My shoes had to way at least 20 pounds! It was just puddle after huge puddle. Sometimes the rain would slow down to just a sprinkle and we would get all excited, only to be dissapointed by another down fall!

I started the race with a aching pain in my hip. I took ibuprofen before the race and had extras in my pocket for a few hours later - sadly, the rain melted them in my shorts! The hip pain never got worse than a dulling toothache pain. Eventually it was in both hips though which is weird, but still never really "painful". About half way through the race I started to get a shooting pain in my knee. I tried to just push through it and forget about it, but it just continued to get worse. Throughout all of my training, I never had any real knee issues. I guess it could be due to the fact that I hadn't run in six weeks and I stubbornly decided to go out and run the marathon anyhow. Eventually I had to stop and walk. I continued at a speed walk pace and the pain would go away...then I would try to run again. To no avail the pain kept on coming back. I told Jen and Kristin to go on without me - I felt bad for holding them back - and they had trained so hard for so long, they deserved to be able to just run the race like intended. Kristin said, "We started together and we're going to finish together." I ran the next 16 miles with the continued pain in my knee. I would run for as long as I could take it and then walk for a minute or so, then run...and walk. It totally sucked. I really tried to be at peace with myself and with the pain. Instead I kept finding that I was just getting angry. At about mile 23 or 24 I stopped to use the port-a-potty and the girls kept on going (which is what I had intended many miles back). I ran the next 2.2 miles mostly in tears.
I was upset that although my biggest fear was pulling out due to my hip pain, it was my knee that ultimately put me in excrutiating pain.

I was upset that I was stupid enough to think that I could actually run without having some kind of injury.

I was upset and mad at myself for continuing knowing that Jen and Kristin would not want to go on without me - ultimately hindering them from running a better race.

I was upset that I didn't have anyone to talk to about how I was feeling...

You'd be amazed at how many emotions you go through once you've had 5 hours to just be in your head!!! Once I had mile 26 in sight, I decided to shake it off - my crying baby fit, not the knee pain, I couldn't shake that off! At about 25.9 miles I was running alongside an older woman, maybe 55 years old. A spectator yelled out something to her about "making it this far". She let out a loud whimper and I looked over and she began to tear up. She was so proud for having made it this far. Instantly I was in tears again! I was so proud of her and I don't even know who she is!

The last .2 miles is just a long line of spectators on either side cheering you on and yelling out names of family members or friends of theirs that are finishing. I saw my husband in that croud and he was yelling out to me too. The end was so near and I just felt like I couldn't run fast enough to get there. Just on the other side of the finish line Jen and Kristin, already sporting their medals, were waiting for me with tears in their eyes. They walked with me while I got my medal. We went to get our finisher t-shirts, bottles of water, bags of potato chips, and bananas...I think Kristin also got some milk :) We met our families on the other side of the finish line and changed into dry clothing. It was amazing how freezing cold it actually was when you were done running. It's so crazy how instantly every ounce of energy you have is gone. Ryan told Jen that I was her inspiration that last two miles of the race, but really she was so strong and finished so strong that she did not need any inspiration!

On our way to back to the hotel Ryan asked me, "What was the best part?" Sadly, I couldn't think of an answer and I felt horrible. Then what he said, having run a dozen marathons himself, was this, "It really sucks because for most races the best part is the first 10 or so miles and for you guys it was pouring rain and freezing out."

He was right. Now that I've had more time to think about it, the best part for me was that Jen and Kristin were able to finish strong and feel good at the end. Running for five hours is not easy, whether you've trained for it or not. Running in the rain for five hours is even worse! I'm really proud of them for their accomplishment!

Tonight I got a call from Jen once they arrived back home. She said, "I just wanted to call and tell you that you did a great job. I'm so proud of you. I also wanted to say I'm sorry for not finishing with you. It was really important to me that we finished together. You stopped for the bathroom and I just couldn't stop."

I'm lucky to have such good friends. I was never upset at them for not finishing with me. It's not easy to run for five hours, much less slow down or stop when you're in a groove. We were all anxious to finish and to be honest if I was feeling really good, I wouldn't want to stop either! I know that sounds kind of selfish, but the last thing you want to do is slow down because it really messes up the flow you got going!

I didn't have any real epiphanies during my race like I thought I would. I think I was so focued on the rain, and on the pain in my knee that I didn't have time for much else. Training for this marathon has really been a lot like our adoption process. It's been long and grueling. I've mostly followed a strict training scheduled. I've encountered some major bumps in the road that put off my ultimate goal. I jumped through hoops to be able to even do the marathon. In the end it was all worth it. I really do have a sense of accomplishment. I went out and ran 26.2 miles and finished still standing! Being able to walk the rest of the week is another story :) Would I do it again? Call me crazy, but I think yes. I'd like to be able to do it without any training injuries. I'd like to know how I could actually do without the knee (or hip, or foot) pain. For now, I'm just going to take it easy. I'm going to focus on sending good vibes, mojo, juju, you name it to Kyrgyzstan so that the committee will finally continue with waiting families' paperwork. I'm going to focus on traveling to get my baby boy! It's always worth it in the end :)

Check back for pictures...

My booty hurts!!!

On Tuesday I went in for Acupunture. He also did some nueralink treatment on me as well. Pretty cool actually. I'm not a big fan of needles to the actual acupuncture wasn't as cool. The last needle that went in went right through my piriformus. It hurt like hell and most of my leg went numb! Afterwards he said that I would probably be tender because that muscle was tight to begin with, but it was necessary to have that needle there. It was interesting to learn about the several causes/reasons for why things happen. I think that after my marathon I may continue with acupuncture/neuralink treatment...I'll just steer clear of any needles in my piriformus for a while!

Yesterday I went back to the ortho to get a cortisone shot. I made sure to make my appointment at a time when Ryan was available to hold my hand!! I am such a baby and those cortisone needles are HUGE! Now my booty really hurts :( I suppose it's my hip actually, but that whole side/back of my upper leg/butt hurts! Today I was home sick...not exactly sure what's wrong or what's going on, maybe I just needed a day to stay home and rest - which is exactly what I've done ALL DAY!

I got a new physical therapist report today on baby Arsin. It isn't like that last form in the least bit. It actually just states all of the dates that they have given him Ultraviolet Irradiation. What the hell is ultraviolet irradiation??? I have an email into my coordinator. I want to know what the heck is going on. My IAP said that it is sometimes used to help treat rickets, but it can also be used to make sure the babies are getting Vitamin D. If he needs Vitamin D - I will send him some!

Still no word on any movement. Our dossier is in Kyrgyzstan, and our coordinator is expecting it to go to the committee next week. I wonder...does this have a direct corillation to when we'll travel??

Cortisone injection side effects...

Well, my marathon is in 6 days, one week from yesterday. I have an appointment today with my PT and another one on Thursday. I'm going to talk to her more about the cortisone shot. If I get it, and I can run this marathon (that I've trained diligently for!)without any permanent damage...I may just do it. i still don't like the idea of it, but I am so frustrated. Really, running is what has gotten me through most of this summer! All the drama at my summer job, all the drama about our adoption...

I've been looking up side effects, and here's what I've found so far:

Question: What are the side effects of a cortisone injection?

Cortisone injections are used for the treatment of many different orthopedic problems including arthritis , tendonitis, and bursitis.

Cortisone is an anti-inflammatory medication, not a pain killer. However, by reducing inflammation, pain often subsides.

Answer: Cortisone injections are very safe to perform. Side effects tend to be rare and minor. However, there are a few potential side effects of a cortisone injection that patients should know about.

Systemic Side Effects
Systemic side effects occur as a result of a small amount of the cortisone entering the bloodstream and affecting your entire body, not just the location where the cortisone was given. Systemic side effects of a local injection of cortisone are rare and usually minor. Unlike taking oral steroids, or having cortisone injected directly into the bloodstream, only a small amount of a local injection is absorbed by the body. And since the body actually produces cortisone naturally, most people do not experience systemic effects. Those who do may experience:

Elevated Blood Sugar
The most common systemic reaction is seen in diabetic patients. Patients with diabetes should carefully monitor their blood sugar as cortisone can cause a temporary rise in their levels. Patients taking insulin should be especially careful, checking their blood sugar often and adjusting the insulin doses, if necessary.

Facial Flushing
Patients may experience flushing sensation and redness of their face. This reaction is more common in women and is seen into up to 15 percent of patients. This can begin within a few hours of the injection and may last for a few days.

Local Side Effects
Local side effects are those that are only experienced in one area of the body. The local side effects of a cortisone injection are also rare.

Pain
Some patients have discomfort after the injection and may experience an increase in pain 24 to 48 hours after being treated. This usually subsides quickly and can be aided with an ice pack and anti-inflammatory medication.

Infection
Whenever there is a break in the skin, like when a needle is used to administer cortisone, there is a chance of infection. Your doctor will sterilize the skin to minimize the risk of infection.

Skin Pigment Changes
Patients with darker skin should also be aware that cortisone may cause skin around the injection site to lighten. This is not harmful.

Loss of Fatty Tissue
High doses of cortisone can have detrimental effects on some tissues in the body. When injected into fatty tissue, cortisone can lead to a problem called fat atrophy. Fat atrophy causes loss of fatty tissue, which can lead to dimpling of the skin or the thinning out of fat. Patients who get cortisone injections in the heel to treat plantar fasciitis may find walking painful as fat that usually cushions their steps may thin out.

Tendon Rupture
Cortisone can also cause weakening of tendons. This is one reason your doctor may limit the number of cortisone injections administered. Cortisone can also lead to tendon rupture, as is the case when cortisone is injected for Achilles tendonitis.

Are Cortisone Injections Safe?
Cortisone injections are extremely safe, but they do still carry potential problems. If you are concerned about having a cortisone shot, talk with your doctor. While cortisone is a powerful treatment for many orthopedic conditions, there are usually other options that can also be tried.

Doesn't seem too bad...right??

Hip, Orthopedic, Physical Therapist...run??

For the past couple of weeks I have been seeing a Physical Therapist for my hip issues. First they thought is was an issue with my IT band. Turns out my IT band is incredibly flexible! Then she was saying Bursitis, and still maybe an issue with the IT band, but not a tight IT band. Ugh. Last week she was concerned that maybe I might have a stress fracture in/on my hip. She made me do all these weird things, jump up and down...one foot...then the other. This week I got in with an orthopedic so that we could rule out a stress fracture or anything else that could be permanently damaging. Nope! However, I did find out that my pelvis is incredibley unbalanced and that if I were to ever get pregnant I would have serious complications. Geez - it's a good thing we're adopting!! Who gets a pelvis x-ray before they think about having kids???

Anyhow, so he said if I do chose to run, I won't do any real permanent damage, I'll just be really sore for a long time. He still suggested that I don't...I haven't made up my mind. I did run three miles on Tuesday and my hip was still hurting. I have not really run since my 22 mile run on August 30th. I tried three miles two weeks ago and it still hurt. A week and a half ago I got a one month membership to the gym. I was able to go twice and workout on the elliptical - problem is my access card still doesn't work! I got up early and went to the gym at 5:30 and the stupid thing doesn't work! It's a SNAP Fitness so it is rarely staffed so I could not get in! I was totally peeved.

Really sucks to train for so long for nothing! We are still planning to go to the cities and I'm going to actually take a few days off!! It's been a long time since I've had a day off and I'm really looking forward to being in the city.

Happy 6 Months!

Today our precious little boy turns 6 months old. Another month goes by without any word on when we will be able to travel and get him. Tonight I'm at work with my little votive candle burning brightly and praying for the committee to take action. This morning in bed Ryan and I were visualizing a pick-up date. We both closed our eyes for a moment and then revealed the date we were thinking of...and wouldn't you know we were both thinking of the same date!!! Our anniversary is October 13th and we both visualized that as being the day we can bring home Arsin. At this point, I'd even settle for that being a day we can travel to get him!

Hang on tight baby boy - we love you and we'll come and get you as soon as your government allows us!!

Anonymous Donation!

Long day today...worked 15 1/2 hours and just got home.

When I got here about a half hour ago (10:15 p.m.) I went went to the mailbox...and to my surprise, there was an envelope in there labeled "Anon. Donation for Arsin Scheel Adoption Fund" and there was a very generous gift of $100! I wish that we knew who it was so we knew who to thanks! If you read this....THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! It's so nice to know there are people out there who are supporting us in this long, long process. People who care and supporting us through this roller coaster of a ride.

I had a rough day today. No real reason really, but I was really sad and missing Arsin. I teared up a handful of times for the smallest things. Very strange...my adoption hormones are kicking in again!!!

I got a call from the doctors office today. They want me to set up an appointment with an orthopedic! I've been going to physical therapy for a couple of weeks for my hip. I haven't run in 17 days!!! My marathon is less than 3 weeks away and I'm really nervous. Now they are afraid it might be a stress fracture in my hip and they just want to rule it out before moving forward. I did go to the gym today and did the elliptical for 45 minutes. My hip didn't hurt at all! Problem is, I can't do the elliptical for my marathon! Stay tuned...

Dossier in Bishkek

Our dossier finally made it to Bishkek today. What a relief!! Now we can knock that off the list. Still waiting to hear what happens next...

Arsin's crib was delivered today and I am so excited to put it together! Now we just need the mattress to go with it - oh and the bedding too!

Work has been crazy and I think I've worked about 95 days straight at least 12 hour days each day. I'll be so happy when I get that phone call and they say that we need to pack up and get our boy! But until then...

On it's way to Kyrgyzstan...

We are not on our way to Kyrgyzstan, but our dossier is! We got word today from our coordinator that our dossier left the Embassy in DC today for Bishkek!!! I was so nervous because one of our documents expired on August 31st - well the notary stamp did - and I wasn't going to say anything to jinx it. I'm sooooo happy that everything went through okay and it's now on the way!

We got some new pictures of our baby boy thanks to a good blogger friend...you know who you are!!! It's so encouraging to receive new photos of the baby that you cannot go and pick up. I also learned earlier this week that he was sick a couple weeks ago. Totally devastated!!! Saule says he's better now, but it makes me want him home now!! So far, no new news on movement in Bishkek - we'll just have to keep praying. Hard!!

Last night I was in Arsin's room and started to sort through some things. After a while I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I had to stop. I ordered his crib today from Target and can't wait to get it here and put it together! Better yet, I can't wait for him to come home and sleep in his crib :)

First Day of School

Today was the first day of school, and I never thought I'd say it, but boy am I glad to be back. Of course the drama saga continues at my other job...but now I can focus on one that really matters. Kids were crazy, classrooms were SO HOT, and teachers were all perked up and ready to start the year.

I took the day off yesterday (Labor Day) and did absolutely nothing. At one point in the day I was so irritated with myself because I should be doing something! But instead I took a 2 hour nap with my pups :)

I'm still recovering from my 22 mile run this weekend. I didn't run much last week because I've been having some issues with my hip. I went to the chiropractor last Monday and got adjusted and that seemed to help a little bit, but not much. It must be a ball and socket issue. I felt good for about the first 6 miles, and then started to get a shooting pain down my leg. I'm stubborn of course so I pushed through the next 16 miles in agonizing pain. The last two miles I was just pissed. I feel really bad about being so grumpy to my running partners, but I couldn't take the pain anymore and there was nothing I could do. It hurt worse to walk than run, so I continued on. There wasn't anywhere on the route to turn off and shorten the distance...knowing that was a killer! When we finished at the driveway, we had to walk another .25 mile to the cabin. Once at the cabin I just began to sob. That probably lasted for about 20 minutes. Eventually I made my way to the cold lake and tipped in off the dock (couldn't jump, it would've hurt too much!) I stayed in for about 20 minutes until I couldn't take the shock anymore. Worst of it all is that I had to go and work all night!! I am still sore today and my hip is still hurting. The bottoms of my feet actually feel bruised, and I am going to the clinic tomorrow to make sure that I don't have any stress fractures. My training has been really good up until this point - no injuries, not even barely sore! I really hope that I didn't injure myself so much that I cannot continue to train or do the marathon.

No news on the adoption front. I sent an email to our coordinator several days ago and still have not heard a response. The movement in Bishkek and the signing of the five dossiers is definitely good news...they just need to keep moving!!!

Here's another snipet of our little man...double fisted this time!

Drama vs. Normalcy

This week we started back at school for in-service. Normally I'd be crazy to say that I'm glad summer break is over! I have had such a crazy, dramatic summer! I don't think I ever posted about because I didn't want to be negative, but I have been working a real crummy job ALL summer! It's a seasonal place and doesn't close until mid-summer. After the hire of a new GM and realizing it didn't work, I was appointed front of house manager. We've had a rough season and I have felt so bad about my staff. They are all young girls and we've become very close. I accepted the job because I thought that I could help and make the rest of the season go, at least better than the first half. I learned real fast that if you don't have any support, you cannot be successful. Every day it was eating at me that I couldn't do anything to make things better. I contemplated quitting several times and Ryan has been very supportive. The problem is that I make good money and right now is not a good time to give up good money! Now that school is starting all of my income from this seasonal job can go into the Arsin fund. So frustrating because nobody should have to go to work and feel like crap!

In-service started this week for the school district staff. Students come back to school next Tuesday, and I'm actually kind of excited! It's nice to be back to normal. Nice to talk with normal adults and be excited for something that really matters. I'm planning to start my after school program through the Boys & Girls Club right away too.

There has been movement in Bishkek too! There was 5 families that have had their dossiers signed off on by the MOE. Now they are just waiting for a court date! Two more families from my agency also just learned that their dossiers left the Embassy and they are on their way to Kyrgyzstan!! This is exciting news and we can only hope that it continues in this direction. There are so many families who have been waiting so long to get their babies home!!

Here's another sneak peak at Arsin - of course he's got a fist again :)

Happy 5 month birthday Arsin!!

Today Arsin Akyl Scheel has turned 5 months old. It is so hard to keep missing these milestones. Last time I spoke to our coordinator, she was thinking that court will re-open mid-September. No time frame though of when our case will be reviewed. We will just have to wait with the 60 some other families! Ugh :(

Hold on baby boy! We're coming soon...

This past weekend I had my baby shower in Racine. My girlfriend Jessica was kind enough to let us use her house. This whole journey has been such an incredible experience and it was great to be able to share some of that with friends and family. I also shared pictures of Arsin. Up until that point we really hadn't shown anyone but our parents. We got some pretty amazing gifts, and lots of words of encouragement. Thank you to everyone for all of your love and support. Speaking of pictures...here's a little sneak peak at our little boy.

Always a fist!

18 Miles

I am leaving this morning for my baby shower in Kenosha. As you know, I am training for the Twin Cities marathon and I have been doing my long runs on the weekends, mostly with Jen. This weekend it didn't work out with our schedules so I had to fend for myself! Luckily I have a great husband who is also a runner. I got up at 7:00 a.m., put out liquid stations (2.5, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, and 17 miles). Ryan rode his bike for the first 8.5 miles and then he ran with me for the remaining 9.5. I have to say...this has been the hardest run yet! This morning my legs are a little sore, but mostly I feel good!

In other news, our dossier made it to Washington, and should have gone to the Embassy yesterday. I'm still waiting on the official word, but it's there! What a load off!! Now if the courts could just start accepting dossiers again we'll be all good. Once your case has been reviewed in court, there is a 30 day waiting period. We are hoping for compassion from the courts that they will waive the waiting period for those of us with referrals who have been waiting so many months for them to be up and running again. We miss Arsin and love him so much - we cannot wait to bring him home!

I have been working a ton of hours lately and have not had much time to watch the Olympics. However, I discovered that a young man from Kyrgyzstan won the bronze medal for Greco-Roman wrestling! Check it out! His name is Ruslan Tiumenbaev. My husband and little brothers, Joe and Nick, have been watching and Nick was very excited the other night when I got hom to tell me that Kyrgyzstan was in the Olympics. So cool.

We are leaving shortly and I will be bringing the boys back home. It'll be differently around here without them. Nick has only been here two weeks, but we've had to much fun. It's really a bummer that I had to work so much and I couldn't spend a ton of time with them. Last night they had a bit of a wrestling match in the family room. Here's just a sneak peak...



Last week they also made a video with Ryan and I wanted to share that too!! They got their ideas from YouTube.

New Committee

I got an email today from AA. She didn't exactly have a lot of information to share, and wasn't sure of the exact procedure. She did, however, share that it might not be until September before we would even have our dossier reviewed. I don't know if this is when they'll start to review, or an estimation of when ours will be reviewed as there are about 40 families' dossiers ahead of us. This is totally disheartening! From what I gather, we will still have the mandatory 30 day waiting period after that! I just wish we could know what the heck is going on. It's so hard to not have him here with us!

Today I finally got the final pieces of our dossier!! I scanned the S.O.S. pages and sent them to our translator and tomorrow I will be sending the dossier out. So nice to have this done - AGAIN!

In other news, we got new measurements for Arsin today and have forwarded them to the IAP. We also got a picture of him from one of the families traveling now...although I won't be able to see them until they get back. Thank you so much Kimberly, Elisabeth, and Lisa!!! Enjoy your time with your babies and safe travels home!

Wailin' Jennys

Saturday morning I was up and ready to go for my 16 mile run. Jen came over at about 8 and we went out to set out Powerade for our liquid stations. The run went well, can't say it was exactly easy, but we made it through and felt like champs!!

After my run, I stretched, ate some protein and took a shower. Ryan, Joe and I got ready for our little road trip to Bayfield, WI. We went to Big Top Chautauqua to see the Wailin' Jennys. It was an awesome concert and we had a ton of fun. All of the campgrounds were full so we didn't get to stay overnight...good thing it's only a couple of hours away!

Last night my grandparents came into to town to visit from Kenosha. They are just starting their vacation and will continue to head north from here. They brought Nick (my other brother) with and he'll stay with us now for the next couple of weeks. It's good to see the two boys, Joe and Nick, and how much they missed each other - although they won't admit it!!!

$10,597 in two weeks!

We just got word from our agency that we need to wire them $10,597 for the Kyrgyzstan governemnt fees, documents for our son, and translations for those documents. This is good news (kind of) because it brings us one more step closer to bringing Arsin home. Bad news is, we only have $4,000 in our savings. Ryan and I will be diligently working on how to get the other $7K by the second week in August!

We officially received our I-171H, yay! I actually didn't even know what it was and had to call my Social Worker and ask her what the heck they were sending me now. In previous posts I have saluted Wisconsin Secretary of State for their swift processing of our documents...sorry to say, I cannot say the same for our most recent mailing. I sent all the documents last week on Friday (Priority Mail, with pre-postage Priority envelope for return) and still have not gotten anything back. It's just one hold up after the next! I did, however, receive the MN Secretary of State docs from our homestudy agency. We are working on re-translating our documents because of the date changes on the notarizations and the new requirements for the Embassy. Today I'm going to go through and re-collate everything (again!). Dejavu anyone?

Tomorrow morning I am going to run 16 miles with one of my running partners. It's amazing we've made it this far ;) Really though, we've been training right. I've been good about trying to eat the right foods and staying really hydrated. I also try to do recovery runs...although that doesn't always work out. I'm sure to take days off, which is always good because I get to sleep in until 7 or 8! I'm excited to have made it this far, and tomorrow's run will be the longest run of my life!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Last night was our celebration party. We decided a week ago that it will not be a fundraiser, rather a celebration of Arsin and our family. A time to share with others our journey and pictures of our son.

We had a blast with our friends and family! We had good food, played music, danced a bit and enjoyed a nice bonfire. We are very grateful to our neighbors for allowing us to use their shed. They also decorated beautifully with a big poster of Arsin and baby clothes hung from one side of the shed to the other!
Here's a picture of our awesome neighbors. Janine is hidden behind the giant Wooden Nickel cup :)



Steve with his awesome cap!

Jen before...


After!


Here's me, although I wish we would've gotten a better shot of the black stone washed skinny jeans!


Behind me is my brother Joe. He's been with us since the beginning of July and he'll stay just until school starts and we'll take him back to Kenosha. Joe gave us quite a show with his dance moves...



Jen also showed off her moves :)

Change of Plans...

As this Saturday, July 26th approaches we would like to notify you of a change of plans for our scheduled 80's dance party fundraiser to bring our son Arsin home from Kyrgyzstan. The event on Saturday will no longer be a fundraiser event. Due to a limited number of RSVP's, we have decided that it would be best to get everyone together for a celebration including: beer, bonfire, music & good conversation to celebrate Arsin's trip home. All the details stay the same (time,location...)

If you plan to attend, please bring your own beverages or a couple of bucks to pitch in for the beverages we will provide. Hope to see you on Saturday and have a wonderful week!

PS - A very special thank you to our wonderful neighbors, Steve & Janine Ostedt for putting so much time and effort into this event, being so supportive as always, and providing a location for us to celebrate! We truly appreciate it!

Save the Date! July 26, 2008

80's Dance Party
and
Card Tournament

When: July 26

Where: 2193 - 22nd Avenue, Rice Lake, WI

Time: 7:30 pm - ??

Cost: A suggested donation of $35/person or $50/couple

All funds raised will help bring baby Arsin home from Kyrgyzstan!!

Check out our website for more information.

Discouragement

A couple weeks ago we received our dossier back from the courier and it was in shambles - totally broke my heart! I had spent nearly 3 months putting all of that stuff together and getting it organized. We needed it back, however, because there were a few documents that are no longer required...and about 7 new docs that needed to be added to it. I have been working on "re-collating" everything and getting new translations, making new copies, etc. I know the courts are still closed - but I want this part of the process to be over with! Our baby is waiting for us and as soon as the courts open, I want to be able to travel!! (of course after the mandatory 30 day waiting)

Today I got a very discouraging email from Adoption Alliance. Apparently, the translation of each dossier doc now has to be signed by the translator, and her signature notarized and then the translation attached to the back of each corresponding English doc BEFORE State certification. So what happens to the documents that have already been to the U.S. Dept of State??? Or the ones that I JUST re-did and have already been State Certified??? I burst into tears when I read the email. Ryan told me to relax and find out all the details. I have yet to get a reply email.

We have still not received our I-171H...and we had our fingerprints done in April!!! Our Social Worker said that she has tried contacting them several times with no response. At this point, she said she would suggest that we contact our state representative or congressman's office and have them check into it. This has been the way it's been handled lately with families needing their I-171H. I think that this is one of the new requirements for the embassy and it has to accompany the rest of your dossier documents. Looks like I'll have time to wait now!!

Baby Arsin, hold on tight!!! Mom and dad will do whatever we have to do to make sure this stuff gets done and we can get you home as soon as possible!!!!!

A Dad's Perspective

As any person who reads this blog already knows, I very rarely write. Like so many aspects of this adoption process, Jes takes most of it on and does it incredibly well! I just sit back in admiration and patiently wait. I just ate some delicious strawberries and a fist full of grapes. This whole process can be extremely difficult and certainly challenging on a relationship. It is very emotional and being a guy I don't always show my emotions in a predictable way. I think Liz Phair said it, "I am a complicated communicator". Until we received the picture of Ari, it all just seemed like money and paperwork to me. It was very difficult for me to get enthusiastic about those things. Thank God for Jes!! If I was in charge we'd still be working on the initial application. Tonight I feel like sharing some of my poetry with you all. It is the first time this stuff has ever been read by anybody but me and Jes, and in one case just me. Please be nice!


This first one I have been working on for more than five years. I'll be giving it to my sister Heather for her wedding present this January. I hope she doesn't read this and if you do and you know her, please don't tell her. It will accompany a Polaroid from when she and I were kids. We were in our pajamas and I was pulling her through the house in a little varnished wooden wagon. Here it is.

Red Sweat Suit

I remember a three year old girl,
Long silent hair chasing the small of her back.
She sat in a varnished wagon.

I pulled the handle
and the wheels turned.
We passed a white lace canopy,
Underneath the demonic red eyes stared at me too.

Thick wheels pushed plush beige carpet.
Barby Florey and the New Kids,
A silent smile erupted past the corners of her solemn mouth.

Thumping loudly in praise of brown ceramic,
Teeth sneered at grouted veins.
The floor refused the warmth,
and the wagon emanated solid gold rays of life.

We thumped while lighted record players pulsated,
and Blondie told us that the tide was high.
Red, yellow, green, yellow, green, red,
tongues of prophetic truth and textured plastic,
and the princess didn’t mind.

and we thumped.

Safely we passed by the baby blue Eden,
The warmth was piled safely in the pre-dawn,
Clouds escaping sliding glass doors protected by innocent tears.

and we thumped.

Golden rays driven by the hammer of the sun,
Reflected off of the pool’s surface,
Lee jeans, soft and warm, celebrated a connection to the
Children of the moon.


We saw the fiery depths of the Frigidaire,
and doors that led to hell burned orange.
He himself was realized by tired five year old pre-dawn eyes.
I recall an urge to run.
Scrawny arms pressed hard against a hairless chest,
and we thumped past the revealing picture window.

We thumped passed the gagging meat grinder spewing ground bologna,
Mr. Yuck and stingy armpit medicine.
He was shot point blank Christmas day.
Daisy sat in the closet for a month.

I sneaked a glance over my narrow shoulder,
And and her eyes whispered prophetic truths that I still remember.
And at that moment, I allowed God into my house.
We trudged back past the demonic eyes.
We trudged by the field that could have been Paris.
We trudged past the plastic stereo, and thumped on cold ceramic.
I pulled her wagon into her heaven and stopped.

I remember a three year old girl,
She was a princess with long shiny brown hair.
She sat waiting for me in a wagon.


This next one was...well...written. Not "well written", but like "well it was
written anyway", get the difference. I told you I am a complicated communicator.
Here it is.


Where the Sharks Live

The horizon draws the line where the world must end,
and that is where the sharks live.
The weight of a never ending ocean is the cause of the overflow from my eyes.
On a brown bean bag in the basement,
I try to imagine heaven and can’t get past eternity.
Mom and Dad watch Dallas.
I decide not to die.

We laughed at Jesus once in the living room,
and you told me he would take his vengeance with a lightning bolt.
Purging the sin from my soul through corporal punishment,
I hid for years apologizing daily.
The lightning never came.

Squinting blocks the blinding, bright, orange, yellow rays.
Grains of the Florida sun brand the soles of my feet.
I tiptoe swiftly over broken seashells toward cool, salty relief,
knowing then that if I looked directly at an eclipse,
I would instantly go blind.
Beneath the stairs, in the basement, I read my Children’s bible,
never understanding what swarms of frogs had to do with my God.

The waves crash and roll rhythmically to the shore,
foaming like Alka Seltzer as they recede.
I wade in to my ankles,
and feel the pull as the sand fills in the void surrounding my feet.
The salt stings the cut on my big toe,
and I accept the penance for my sins.

I wade deeper to my waist,
and I am greeted by the strength of a gigantic wave that lifts my feet and pulls me under.
The water churns and bubbles around me as my body turns full somersaultsscraping me against the ocean’s sand paper floor.
And for a moment I let the water take me.
Finally, I gasp for a breath lifting my head above the surfacejust in time for the next wave to push me under,
repeating the process.

I am pushed to the shallows and I pick myself up.
I wince in pain as the salt water mixed with a southerly breeze stings the bloody scrapesadorning my palms, back, and feet.
Triumphantly I raise myself waist deep out of the salty water,
the dull safety of the beach is no match for the fire that has sparked in my stomach.
I return to face another wave.

The next one is a sky scraper, and I walk confidently to face it.
Its strength is unbelievable,
and I use all of my power to resist.
The wall of water rushes at me like a freight train and collapses swallowing me whole.
Again the churning water turns me in somersaults,
as if trapped beneath the lid of an enormous washing machine.
The wave’s grasp holds me beneath the surfacelong enough to sear its burnt grasp into my lungs branding me for life.

I fight to rip free from the ocean’s death grip,
but its strength is too overpowering.
Goliath slowly begins to defeat David.
And like I’ve done so many times in my life,
I decide to give up.
The accidental, magnificent, yellow sunfloweris at last brown and broken.

And as my last breath positions itself just inside my lips,
her hands grasp me beneath my armpits pulling me clear of my watery tomb.
My lungs burn.
Choking and coughing, I gulp as much air as possible fighting for each taste of sweet breath.
The tips of her white wings touch the surface of the ocean,
causing the tiniest disturbance.
I do not fight. I know there is no sense in that.

As I lay slumped on the wet sand, I think to myself:
Someday I will return to the sea,
I will get past those waves to my destiny just beyond the break.
But for now I will sit and breathe, and wait for my next opportunity to drown.


Finally, this one is for my beautiful bride. I meant to give it to her for her birthday. Jes, I know you'll read this so here it goes. I love you so much. This was meant for your birthday, and well, you're lucky to get it today and not 10 years from now edited hundreds of times as you know I have a tendency to do. It hasn't been scrutinized and may be a little cheesy, but I mean every word! Me, Ari, Dora and Gipsi are the luckiest ones on this earth to have you. You are my other half and we love your guts!

For Jessica
Stepping into the silver pool by glowing streams of moonlight.
We wade in to our waists.
A baptism of life, she is the sweetest breath I have ever taken.
Our reflection shone back at us in the water’s mirror.
Golden moon rays bend and dance around us refracting in the tiny waves that our naked bodies coax from the surface.
This moment is like no other and will only be repeated in the theatre of our memories.
The warm water washes our souls and it is in that exact moment that we reconnect the halves that were so violently taken in the beginning.
We will do this dance again and again for eternity hand in hand
walking in the golden rays of moonlight.
In my wildest dreams, I would have it no other way;
I would choose no one else but her.


Ok, before I sign off this message is for my beautiful little boy.

Ari, I love you so much! Hold on tight little buddy, we will find each other really soon. I promise! Enjoy every moment you have right now. When we come home you are going to meet the craziest best people, like grandma & grandpa Scheel and Joe, Alysha, Nick, Aniyah, Aidan Charles "Fukodome", Silas, grandma & grandpa Covelli, Uncle Josh & Aunt Allie, Uncle Eric & Aunt Heather, Uncle Shannon & Aunt Tracy, Aunt Cici. Everyone is going to love you so much! We will go camping. You will be licked a zillion times by your sisters Dora & Gipsi.Life will be happy, sad, amazing, boring,exciting, fun, ugly, and utterly absolutely beautiful!! I can't wait to see you, little boy. Love Dad ;)

Multi-vitamins

I will be purchasing some more of the infant multi-vitamin mix to send over to Kyrgyzstan on July 5th. If anyone else is interested in purchasing additional bottles to send, please feel free to contact me at s.jesandryan@yahoo.com. Just in case anyone is wondering, this is not a for profit venture. I am willing to pay for the shipping to get them to John Wright so that he can distribute them. They are $15.04 per bottle including tax - this is a 30 day supply. Although I do typically make money on the items that I sell, I don't ever pay for shipping. By offering to ship, I will be breaking even. I am not financially able to purchase the quantity of vitamins needed for the orphanages, so if you can/want to help, please contact me.

Again, this is not away for me to make money, just another opportunity to be able to provide some assistance to the children in the orphanage by getting them adequate nutrition.

Listed below is the information from the Shaklee website.

Vita-Lea® Infant Mix
30 servings Multivitamin and multimineral powder for infants and toddlers. Natural flavor.

Help Infants Say "Yes" to Good Nutrition
Are they getting enough food? More importantly, are they getting enough of the right foods? Ensuring your infant's nutrition can be a challenge, especially if they're picky eaters.

Vita-Lea Infant Mix is an easy way to guarantee they get the nutrition their growing bodies need. It mixes easily into juice, water, or food, providing 23 essential vitamins and minerals - more than most children's vitamins on the market. And the pleasant-tasting powder means they'll always say, "yes" to good nutrition.

Directions
Infants (6 - 12 months): mix 1 level teaspoon once a day in 4 ounces of fruit juice, water, or food. Stir well. Toddlers (1 - 4 years of age): mix 1 level teaspoon twice a day in 4 ounces of fruit juice, water, or food. Stir well.

Gray hairs...

A few weeks ago I noticed a gray hair - right in front! So of course, I pulled it out ;) WELL, just yesterday I noticed 2 more! What is happening?? 27 years with gray hair? Oh man...

Ryan and I have both been so busy working and getting ready for the baby! We have to start to put his room together soon too! Today is the first day that I have off from Stout's so I've been running around all morning depositing checks, mailing stuff that has been sold on eBay, picking up prescriptions, etc. I still have to put together our dossier - with what I have (we haven't gotten back the new S.O.S. stuff yet) - I have to email our translater to see what she has done so far too. Later today I have to work on stuff for the Boys & Girls Club and then I have a sand volleyball and slow pitch softball game. So much for a day off! I guess it's better to be running around like a crazy woman now before our precious baby comes home.

Referral!!!

It's a Boy!!

We are very happy to announce that we have accepted the referral of a beautiful baby boy! As you can imagine, we are overjoyed and so excited! He is just about 3 months old, and very handsome! We hope to travel in the next couple of months to bring him home forever.

For those of you who have been following our journey, our process has moved much faster than we anticipated. We are going to take the next couple of months and do everything we can to raise the additional $20,000 needed to bring him home. In July we are planning to have a fundraiser - it's going to be lots of fun! We'll post more about that as it comes closer. Other than that, here's what else we are doing to raise money:

On-line magazine fundraiser

We are selling anything and everything on eBay right now, and we'll continue to list over the next couple of weeks.

After the eBay sales, we will have a garage sale with what is left over and the bigger stuff that is too hard to list on eBay. If you have any stuff you're looking to get rid of, please contact us and we will pick it up and add it to our garage sale!

Shaklee - anything I sell and make money on goes towards the adoption.

We also have an on-line Power Mall - so bookmark this site and anytime you shop from there, we earn a small percentage of the sale!

We have both been working like crazy and saving every extra penny. We will continue to work hard and pick up as many extra hours as possible!

We appreciate everyone's love and support. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Jes and Ryan

FBI fingerprints

Ryan and I have been in La Crosse for Josh and Allie's wedding since last Thursday, and when we arrived home tonight....We had our fingerprints back from the FBI. We mailed them in on June 6th so the turn around time has been quite fast! Now I just have to figure out what else I need to do with them :)

We received our dossier back from the courier so that we can re-collate all of our documents. Ryan and I will be leaving first thing tomorrow morning to go camping. We have taken the majority of this week off in celebration of my birthday (June 24th). Sucks that all this dossier stuff needs to get done...guess I'll be doing that all night!

Our eBay sales have not been going super great, but we've made a little bit of money to put away so far. We are going to use everything that doesn't sell in a big garage sale. I'm going to continue to list items for the next couple of weeks and then I'll plan the garage sale.

Off to do paperwork!!

Saving the world one bag at a time...

The other day Ryan came home with a little compact box of ecosilk bags that he and a co-worker ordered together. We will use these instead of the plastic bags offered at the grocery store! We are still working on getting the additional 7 documents needed for our dossier. I have everything filled in on all of the forms, but one. I am going to call our coordinator tomorrow and have her walk me through. Other than that, we will just be waiting for our FBI fingerprints to come back - which hopefully will be soon!!! On a side note, I went for an 8 mile run this weekend with 5 other "running club friends". I made sure to stay ahead of the pack because for some reason I preferred to run alone! This is very strange for me...typically, if I don't have someone to run with on any given day - I don't run on that day. I'm really kind of a baby about it, but when you have to start training alone it becomes not fun. Who wants to train for a marathon and have the training be NOT FUN?? Not me, that's for sure! :) Anyhow, I was very emotional and trying to run (no pun intended) through the emotions in my head. It wasn't anything I could pinpoint though. We are hitting a "financial wall" and that has certainly been stressful, but I'm not quite sure that was what it was about. After the run, on the verge of tears, I took a shower and packed my bags to head to Black River Falls for an overnight bachelorette party. The minute I got in the car I started to bawl my eyes out! It lasted for almost 20 minutes! Very strange...must be the adoption hormones kicking in again!!

Postcards

I have been listing more and more on eBay. Although it seems like we've been waiting forever to bring our baby home (especially with all the delays), the money is not coming in quite as fast. We are still falling way short of the $30K - $40K needed to complete this adoption. We have some other things planned still this summer to help, but in the meantime, we continue to work 7 days a week. During my free time, I'm listing items on eBay. Tonight I will be listing about 100 vintage postcards. They are pretty amazing and from all over the world. If you or anyone you know are interested, please take a look!

dossier, dossier, dossier...

Our dossier has been at the courier for a month waiting for the Kyrygyz Embassy to open up. Just found out earlier this week that we need 7 additional documents for our dossier, which should cost another $900. Unfortunately, one of these documents is FBI clearance and this can take up to 8 weeks! the good news is that this does not affect our place in line and shouldn't affect us getting a referral. It just felt so nice to be done with the paperwork and start to work on fundraising and saving the additional $25,000 needed to bring our son home!

News...Just not baby news

I got a letter in the mail the other day from the campus I am attending. In early April I applied for several scholarships without even giving it a second thought. Lo and behold...I've received two scholarships totaling $1,000. This helps to ensure that I can attend at least one class each of the next two semesters...so awesome! At this point I can't take any more classes than that because of my work schedule. At some point here, I should be able to transfer to UW-Superior and then I can take the majority of my classes through their education program on-line. I have been running with a group of girls lately, and every day we send out a mass email to see who can run, and when. In yesterday's email, we were challenged to the Medtronic Twin Cities Marathon! It will be the first marathon for all of us, but one. We all signed up - talk about making quick decisions! At least I'll have running to take my mind off all the baby waiting we'll be doing. Speaking of baby...I started to paint Oozi's room yesterday. I went back and forth on colors and I'm still not totally convinced, although it is a pretty cool color. I went with middlebury brown for the wall colors and then I am planning some kind of accents with rosemary green, blue spa, and alpine white. Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to make that work! Here is a link to an interesting New York Times article on life in Kyrgyzstan with some amazing pictures.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and mothers-to-be out there!! Here's a picture of our two babies. Dora, rat terrier chihuahua, is the white and black one. Gipsi, chihuahua, is the fawn colored one.

This weekend we headed down to La Crosse. We stopped off on Friday to camp out in the Green Machine (our '79 VW bus). Saturday morning we fished the Rush River for a bit and then headed towards La Crosse. On the way, we stopped and had breakfast at an awesome cafe in Stockholm...Bogus Cafe I think it was called. Super good! They had a fabulous bakery and nice shops downtown. Definitely a fun little town.

Saturday afternoon, I had Allie's (Josh) bridal shower. We also finally got to meet our nephew - so exciting! He was born in October and lives in Virginia. We were feeling so guilty because he is already 7 months and we've never even met him. We had a blast with him - he is such a good baby! We made breakfast for my mother-in-law, and after an early afternoon snooze - love daytime naps! - we went for a run and took our dogs for a walk before the 3 hour drive home.

The UPS Store

I finally mailed our dossier to the courier. I was standing in the UPS store sweating bullets!! All the work you put into it and the fate of it's delivery is all dependent on that young, un-knowing UPS staff. He assured me that in over 50,000 packages that he has sent out, only one has ever gone missing - good grief man, that doesn't make me feel better!!!

I was scared and nervous, but I made it out of there okay. On my way back to work, I had to stop home and change my shirt - I had completely sweated through! Now it's out of our hands and up to the courier. I just hope the Embassy opens it freaking doors up now so we can get goin.

Back to the ol' computer...selling our life away on eBay!

eBay

Ok, so we have officially started our "fundraising". Our dossier is all done and set to go, just waiting for the go ahead from the Kyrgyz Embassy. Gotta do something to keep our mind off waiting for The Boy. We are #3 on the list and were told that we should expect a referral by the end of the summer or early fall.

My goal this month is to list everything we own (or most of it) on eBay and see what we can get for it. Once June rolls around we will have a mega garage sale for anything that didn't sell. At that point we'll ask friends and family for anything they have laying around that they just want to get rid of and we'll add it to our sale. We have about $25,000 more to come up with. Our costs so far for the process have only been $8,000, but we are sucked bone dry!

Be sure to check out our eBay listings...and bid them up. We need to bring our baby home!!!

Thanks to everyone for all of the love and support!