Scheels on the Move!

The time has come for the Scheels to be on the move once again. This time we're headed to Central Oregon! Our time here in Atlanta was fast lived, but we've outgrown it. We have spent that last year being very intentional about what we wanted and where we wanted to be. We sold our house in Roswell, moved into a rental in preparation for what was to come.

In our time here, Ryan has continued to grow within his organization. He's looking forward to bringing his expertise to the team in the Pac West. I have cultivated a beautiful community of yoga students and friends in my time teaching throughout metro ATL, and I'm going to miss them all dearly. Emilia has had some good experiences as well - softball, basketball, martial arts and most recently the Smyrna Elite track team.

We will embark on our journey after the end of the school year. We have already signed up for all the summer camps and are really looking forward to getting back to the mountains! There's still so much to be done, so many things to wrap up. Transition is never easy … send us all the good mojo!

oxoxo

Hurt and Angst

This morning I woke up in a complete panic and crying so hard I could barely breathe.

I woke up longing to hold my son, Akyl. Panicking because I don't know where he is. If he's safe. If he's loved.

Grief is a funny thing.

Worrying about your children never goes away. Worrying about the child you aren't able to parent can sometimes be debilitating.

E and I are traveling, and so I woke up in a friend's spare bedroom, initially freaking out because it was unfamiliar. After I was able to catch my breath and roll over to find my hija lying next to me, I felt some relief.

I fully believe in the universe and that we are living the lives that were intended for us. But sometimes I absolutely HATE it. Why was our life intended to be filled with so much hurt and angst? Why was it designed so that we lose not one, but two sons?

Familiaversary

Familiaversary

2013-2019

Our beautiful baby girl has been home with us for SIX years. It feels like it was just yesterday. It also feels like she’s always been with us.

In years past we have spent this day celebrating, and doing fun things as a family. Maybe you saw the pictures on Facebook as we posted them, celebrating the day we became a family. We have always ended our night looking back at all of the pictures we took while in Ecuador. We still had work, and school and all of the after school activities, etc. but made extra effort to celebrate the day we met, and became a family of three.

We’ve talked about our Familiaversary for a couple of days. Emilia still refers to it as our EMILIAversary 😍

Unlike in years past, we don’t have any pictures to share for 2019. Today was the third day of a long weekend, due to MLK holiday. Today started with our 10 year old hija waking up on high alert, and pretty dysregulated. She was back asleep by 9:00 for a little morning nap (that doesn’t happen much around here).

There were lots of tears today.

Enough backtalk to last the rest of this year.

Disrespect towards us, and even a brief moment directed at one of our pups.

Really hard time focusing, following directions, staying on track and having good listening ears.

Meltdowns. Lots of meltdowns.

Today’s Familiaversary was also a traumaversary. It was a long, hard day.

But we spent the last few moments of the day, together, as a family. A family brought together by adoption and love. But our union as a family meant that there was a loss early in our baby girl’s life. This loss and grief will be with her forever. It will affect her, always. We are not perfect parents. We won’t always be at our best. But we will always love and support her. Through this, and every stage of her life.

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