Divertido

I feel like for the last three or so years we haven't been really living. Everything we've done has had to be centered around our adoption from Kyrgyzstan. We never wavered in our dedication in bringing Akyl home, but all of our decisions were so heavily weighted by it. I feel like we missed out on a lot. What exactly? I'm not sure ...

 

In 2010, we took the leap and made the move to Fond du Lac. We were afraid though because it meant starting over with our homestudy (new agency and all), and our biggest fear was being caught without up-to-date documents and Kyrgyzstan would call and tell us to come and get him. Of course, that never happened.

 

We put off trips and vacations because we were afraid to spend any money for fear that we would get "the call", and be short on funds. Last summer, we decided to take a road trip, and did it on as small of a budget as possible. We were on a constant roller-coaster of emotions. We were often given glimpses of good news, and then another delay ... glimpses of good news, and then another delay ...

And after that fateful day, and all is said and done, here we sit ... son-less.

Heart-broken.

Grief-stricken.

Forever changed with an Akyl-size emptiness in our hearts.

We've decided this time around (and from here on out) that we are going to do things different. We will continue to live our lives. We're going to be HAPPY, and look forward to life. We still won’t be going on any lavish trips in the near future because of course, we’re absolutely broke … but we will do things that we enjoy and not put off life because we’re waiting. Always waiting.

Speaking of waiting. Waiting has become the most dreaded thing ever, and that also needs to change. Was it Kyrgyzstan that changed us? Made waiting so incredibly awful? Filled us with SO MUCH anxiety? Or does waiting really just suck that much?

The other day I was complaining to Ryan about how sick I am of "waiting". I was complaining that the Ecuadorian government was taking far too long. Why haven’t they issued the Formal Assignment Letter? She is a waiting child after all, and they asked Illien to find a family for her. Here we are!!! Give us the letter so we can come and get her! His response was this: Jes, it’s happening. We just have to be patient. She WILL come home. I know you, and you complete fall apart when you don't have control over something. You’re letting this get the best of you, and you need to let it go, because you do not have control. It will happen. It is happening. She is coming home.

I do have a tendency to be a bit of a control-freak, this I know.

 

I want to be excited. I want the wait to be filled with enthusiasm, and anxiety-free anticipation. How do I manage that?

 

Meanwhile, we've been having fun. We're starting to enjoy life again. We are enjoying time as a family camping and weekends away. We're setting aside time for fun with friends. We working on projects around the house, and fun, crafty projects. 

We recently discovered the Pabst Theater in Milwaukee, and went to a weekday show to see The Mountain Goats. The tickets are not very expensive, and the trip to Milwaukee is only about an hour. It's an awesome venue with comfortable seats. Definitely something we'll do again!

 

Tonight we recorded the Curious George book that we will send to E. We were dying laughing at first, and had to keep re-recording. After we finished, we went back to listen, and re-recorded some more because we wanted to have our voices a certain way for her to hear. Then we laughed some more and recorded funny pages, just to laugh some more.

Tomorrow we'll ship out the doll, photo album and book. I also put together a collage of photos on an 8x10 sheet for her to have.

Hopefully soon we can be united. Espero

 

Life is exciting and I want to enjoy it. I want to have fun!

Expectations

When we were initially planning to start this adoption process (early Spring), we had many conversations with our agency about the timeline for completion. Originally, the plan was to travel and complete over the summer so that I could be back before school started in the Fall with enough time to get E settled in at home with a plan for school and/or daycare. Ideally, this would ensure that I didn’t have another delay in my education, and of course we would be able to get her home lickity-split! My agency reminded me that this process involves a human life, and that there were always unforeseen delays that may arise. I, of course, was initially offended. Undoubtedly, this was a human process -- I mean, isn’t that the reason people adopt children? To add another human to your family? I also have a good deal of experience with “unforeseen delays”, so this was not breaking news to me.

 

As we waited for additional medical tests (more than 9 weeks), the dream of summer completion slowly started to fade.

 

I really don’t like it when my plans get mucked up.

 

So I started to make new plans. The new plan included putting off school for the Fall and completing our adoption during this semester. This would give us enough time for 8 weeks in country, the rest of the year home on FMLA, and the opportunity to apply for additional FMLA time for 2013. This would also give us a sufficient amount of time to make a plan for school/day care for E, and I would be signed up for full-time during Spring semester. I ended up taking an Independent Study this semester to study Latino culture. I am supposed to use my time in Ecuador for my assignments and research. The plan was early Fall.

 

It’s almost November.

 

We still have not received the Formal Assignment letter from the “authorities” in Ecuador. Our dossier has been with them since early this month. I have not been given any timeline, as it seems that nobody knows how long it should take. We need this letter in addition to the child referral documents (news to me as of last week) in order to file for the I-800. The I-800 itself generally takes 2-3 weeks to process and get approved. At which point, they start the process of issuing the Article 5 letter which allows us to travel. Still so much to get through before we can travel to the great port city of Guayaquil and bust our girl out of that orphanage.

This week our agency asked us to start to think about what we would like to send to E to start the bonding process. I ordered a cloth doll online, and had her name embroidered on the bottom of the dress. We will also send a small, smooshy photo book with photos of us, our puppies and our house. I just also received a fantastic tip from an AP who recently returned home with her daughter from Ecuador ... she suggested that we get one of those books that you can record yourself reading. Ryan and I will hit the stores tomorrow, and hopefully find something that we can record and also send to Ecuador.

In the meantime ... Espero
 

Weekends

The weeks just keep going by, and we still have no idea when we'll be leaving for our sweet little girl. Our paperwork is currently with the "authorities" and we're now waiting for the Official Match Letter so that we can apply for the I-800. Once we receive the I-800 Approval and Article 5 Letter that accompanies it, we can travel.

Hartman Creek State Park
In the meantime, we've had a couple of good weekends. Last weekend we camped in Waupaca at the Hartman Creek State Park with our friends Christian and Diana and their two sons. We arrived late Friday night, and I was afraid that I was going to freeze my butt off because it was cold!! Ryan and I stayed in our van, and luckily since he's a gear freak, he had me all set up with a zero degree sleeping bag. Both puppies and I were cuddled in that bag all night! I even had to sleep with my arms out at one point because it got a little warm :)

On Saturday morning we all bundled up and set out for a 5 mile hike on the Ice Age Trail. We signed up for the Hike-A-Thon and got drinks and snacks before heading out into the woods. We had a lot of fun!

We ended our day at camp with a fire, dinner, s'mores, and scary stories! Ryan learned that he will have to work on watering down his stories for young children :)

Saturday night was colder than the night before and I wasn't as snuggy warm as Friday, but the sleeping bag still worked fine. I do however, think that sleeping outside season is over for me :)

 

 

 

 6th Anniversay

On Saturday Ryan and I and our pups spent the day in Milwaukee for our Anniversary. We got a room at the Hotel Metro downtown and had dinner there as well. The weather was really nasty, so we didn't get to do most of the things that we planned, but we still had a nice, relaxing time and our meals were fantastic!



 

Life is Never Flat