This wait is the hardest thing I think that I have ever had to do. I've been through bad relationships, I've been hurt by my friends, I had a challenging childhood...but nothing, I mean NOTHING, compares. We got updated photos and measurements from an adoptive mommy that was in Kyrgyzstan last week visiting with her daughter again. I just cannot believe how much he's growing up. He looks very healthy and happy. I have been reassured by the mommy's that just traveled that although the circumstances are not exactly ideal, our kiddos are being taken care of and the caregivers seem to really care about the babies. I was also told that Arsin seemed to really like his caregiver which is so HUGE! Still, even as I write this I'm tearing up.
The reality is that there are no answers. Apparently there is an on-going investigation and we can't move forward until that is all squared away. I just want them to square it and move on. I realize that it is totally a culture difference and I probably could never wrap my American mind around it. At this point all I can do is pray and send good vibes, mojo, juju, you name it. My heart just breaks, and I pray that we can have him home before Christmas.
On another note...
Last night Ryan and I were snuggling on the couch and just like any other time we get close, our two dogs came jumping right in. Ryan was reclinging, I was sitting over him and the two dogs on my lap laying their heads on his chest. I wish I could have taken a picture! Ryan and I can't get close or kiss without one of our dogs jumping in on the action. While we were laying there dozing off on the couch I asked Ryan where Arsin fits in this snuggle group. He quickly answered, "Right here of course," meaning on the other side of him. Then he proceeded to tell me that Arsin will snuggle him like this until he's 18 years old and that he will love his dad so much. Of course I'm sure he'll love him, but snuggling until he's 18?...don't count on it pal! We talk about Arsin like he's already here and we've already made all kinds of plans. We say goodnight to him every night (to the pictures on the computer of course). We just cannot wait until we can kiss him and hold him and snuggle him. Life almost seems strange without him here....
2 comments:
I am totally with you. Little man is part of our screensaver on our computer and many times when his picture comes up, I also start to cry. This wait is so hard and so unfair for us and for our kids. Keeping you in my prayers and hope we get our babies home before Christmas.
OK...Jess, you made me cry! Can't wait to see him in the pictures with you and Ryan.
Love you all.
Sara Connor
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