International Children's Day - June 1, 2011

In Kyrgyzstan
Author: Erica Marat
June 1, 2011

Children's souls in the "social nature reserves" in Kyrgyzstan Last weekend in a suburb of Washington was celebrated days of the Kyrgyz culture. Festival was organized by American families who have adopted children from Kyrgyzstan. Children from three to thirteen played in the Kyrgyz national games, eating traditional food and listen to performances of artists from Kyrgyzstan. Were on holiday and those American families who are already over 2.5 years can not bring their adopted children from Kyrgyzstan, because in February 2009 in the country was suspended international adoptions. During this time, out of 65 adopted children, two umerliot disease, and the rest significantly lagging behind their peers in the U.S.

I have met with some of the waiting families in the U.S.. Such affection and devotion to adopted children has become for me a revelation. For three years Bermet from the orphanage "Shining Path" ready children's room with decorations dolls made of felt, Azamat had surgery to correct cleft lip and Nargiza regularly send a box of gifts on her birthday. Kids still do not understand that in faraway America are waiting for adoptive parents, and the feverish political change in their home countries and the reluctance of politicians to quickly address the fate of the weakest set aside their right to a normal childhood.

Azamat mother Gabrielle Shimkus said that she thinks about her son constantly. "I find it difficult at night when I know that Azamat halfway around the world just waking up and no one would have loved it, pressed it to himself, would have fed him breakfast and spent time with him. But the day I feel better because I know he's asleep at this time and no it did not bother "- says she is.

To ensure that children finally went to the adoptive parents the government of Kyrgyzstan must conclude the review process of the law amending the Family Code that would allow Kyrgyzstan to monitor foster children abroad. Waiting families have complained that 2.5 years the Kyrgyz side is constantly delayed the resumption of the adoption process. They also criticize the U.S. government, which, in their opinion, could do more to advance the process.

Some fellow asked me what moves the adoptive families do not give up and wait for the kids so much time. For families, the question seems odd, but they provide an answer like this: "We promised the child that he will grow up in our family. I do not find me rest until he fulfill his promise to the child. "

On the day the child protection would like to focus public attention on the idea that any state should strive to fully get rid of children's homes and construction of all social orphans in families. Orphanage should be considered by us as institutions, "the social nature reserves, which are incomparable with the upbringing of children in the family. Even the orphanage is not secured then overrides a loving, even if not rich, his family.

I do not propose a panacea solution to the problem - at this stage it would be naive. But I think that today there is an urgent need to raise the question about the essence of children's homes in our society, about why we, despite all the shortcomings from the orphanage system, doing nothing to reform. Start small - with the destruction of some stereotypes about orphanages, as well as around the international adoptions and adoptions in general. Everything in order...

An orphanage in our society

Relaxed attitude of the public to the existence of orphanages - one of the most persistent legacies inherited from the Soviet authorities. Orphanage became urgent necessity after Stalin's sweeps the 1930's and during the Second World War. In the interest of the ideology of the USSR brought a number of famous orphans - the leaders, artists, and demonstrations of workers. Largely because of such positive stories of orphans loved society, they were considered children of heroes. Around the orphanage formed a romantic image that continues to exist today. But today few people know that in the interests of the Soviet regime was to show that the new society created a new generation of heroes. At the same time concealed the negative aspects of living in orphanages: one with accuracy can not say how many orphans were actually able to find themselves in life - a family, raise their children, and do what he likes.

Romanticism, formed around the orphans remained, despite the fact that the situation in the care of orphans is rapidly changed in 1970 and 80-ies. When the orphanage kids started coming, "the lower classes, mostly alcoholics, women who become pregnant against their will, and children born with obvious disabilities. The situation has deteriorated with the collapse of the Soviet Union. Conditions in children's homes have changed dramatically - the salary of workers has fallen, and the kids stopped getting the old subsidies and state guarantees.

The reality is that today's children's home are more like human warehouses in which serve only some of the physical needs of children, a not their emotional needs. Children change their diapers, wash them, hand out toys and food. Nurses, who work for little pay, really try to do everything possible to ensure that the children were fine.

But be that as staff did not help to abandoned children, they lack the warmth and attention to family. No one shows them how to build a relationship based not no exchange service, but based on the emotional relationship between the caregiver and child.

No need to be a psychologist to understand that orphans by definition can not add an idea of what the sense of permanent attachment to the parents how to resolve family disputes that such an emotional independence, how to care for older and younger ... to help children grow in a certain "Social Reserve, where the execution 16 years they are released into the community despite the lack of skills, social and emotional communication.

It is because of our understanding about the benefits of such children's homes, the situation in Soviet times, is still generally accepted that some orphans who were unable to achieve anything in life, just the victims of failed alcoholic parents, and children's home creates all necessary conditions for full child development. Because of such views in society and among politicians dulled sense of urgency in every way to help the most vulnerable social group.

Instead, some people prefer to resort to common negative stereotypes about international adoptions. For example, that the adopted children of foreigners badly looked after children, they grow in the alien culture and may even become victims of transplant organs. Usually such arguments are without any evidence or granting organizations of international adoption the opportunity to express their opinions.

Stereotypes

All these stereotypes combine two common settings in our society. First, we consider the norm to raise children in orphanages instead of improving the system of adoption. And secondly, we are hard to imagine that adoptive parents can love their children by foreigners from another country as their own.

We consider each of these stereotypes separately:
Stereotype number 1: "Parents will scoff at the foster children" . Arguments about what over foster children being bullied, often used by those who adamantly opposed to international adoption. Often the reason for such views is the statistics on the Russian children.

Every case of child abuse are widely published in Russian media. In total since 1991 in the United States as a result of domestic violence killed 16 children. But during the same period, American families have adopted about 60,000 adopted children from Russia. Russian media has not paid enough attention to how many adopted children with disabilities not only have a chance to survive but to become productive members of society.

In Washington, there lives a boy from Russia, who was born without lower limbs. His American parents gave him a prosthesis. The boy now walks, lives an independent life. A girl in Irkutsk with deformed legs became five-time Paralympics athlete in swimming. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of such stories.

In Kyrgyzstan, unfortunately, these statistics are unavailable. We know from reports of "Youth Human Rights Group" that the number of orphans in Kyrgyzstan in 2007 was 20 750. No, and social statistics about what happens to graduates of children's homes, after they are released to float freely when they are 16 years old. The fate of graduates of Russian orphanages is composed as follows: 10 persons life be arranged only at one, four fall into the jail, four sopyutsya and one committed suicide. It has long been proven that in the U.S. abuse of children in foster care is much rarer than in "normal" families. This is because the adoption agency conducted a thorough screening of prospective adoptive parents. "Normal" families of such checks do not pass.

According to studies of "Youth Human Rights Group" Physical abuse is common in children's homes in Kyrgyzstan. Anna Kirei, a student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a few years ago was a volunteer at one of the orphanages in Bishkek. Anna tells how, during the day children walk, she saw that one of the girls took a snail in his mouth. Kirei asked her to spit out the snail. Instead, the girl sat down and covered her head with both hands. "She thought I was going to hit her for it" - says Kirei.

Often, children who spent the first five years of living in orphanages diagnosed reactive attachment disorder. A child or rushes all around, whether it be foster parents or strangers, or fail to develop an emotional attachment to anyone. But such cases are a minority. Basically adaptation goes smoothly, because foster families willing to all sorts of difficulties when adopting a child from another country. In the case of surprises they can always contact the adoption agency for help and advice.

Stereotype number 2: "Cultivating bodies". The Russian blogosphere is often flit article that the orphans had been adopted from the former Soviet countries, are used as organ donors. "On the black market in human organs the heart is 160 thousand dollars. The liver is 60 to 150 thousand. The pancreas is estimated at 45,000 dollars. Kidney - 10 thousand. Foreskin of a boy - of 20 000 green. For 5 years in the country disappeared 150,000 children "- writes the author of one of these blogs. Despite the fact that official sources, these data do not confirm the fear that children will use the bodies, deeply rooted in the view of the public in post mills. In Kyrgyzstan, these unsubstantiated arguments have become the main instrument among the opponents of international adoption.

It is important to note that the purchase and sale of human organs in the U.S. - is illegal. For organ transplantation requires the consent of the donor or his family in case of death of the donor. In addition, tissue and blood group of donor and recipient must be compatible, which is detected by sophisticated tests. Some patients wait decades before they find suitable organs. The fact that they will fall an adopted child, which is suitable for indicators for organ transplants are close to zero.

In general, cases of organ transplantation in children in the United States are extremely rare. Most children serve as bone marrow donors for leukemia treatment for someone in the family. Much more often, children are recipients of organs from adult donors. For example, in certain diseases of the biological parents can give a child a part of his liver.

Finally, do organ transplants underground in the U.S. simply is not profitable from a commercial point of view. That the cost of medicines and medical personnel ready to work illegally, paid off, you need to make every year hundreds of operations that would have cost to patients at least 20 000 dollars, it counts. Patients also need post-operative observation that after the illegal organ transplants they can not get from conventional doctors...

Stereotype number 3: "Orphans should be raised in a spirit of national culture". In Kyrgyzstan, the often heard opinion that, giving children for international adoption, the state deprives them of the opportunity to know their own culture and language. Sure, some children are adopted by foreigners are losing part of their native culture, leaving abroad. Children generally learn about their traditions of festivals and clubs, which they organize the adoptive parents.

Much depends on the family - some parents try to teach children their native language and culture. Other families pay less attention to such matters. Nevertheless, most families tell children about their native country, and even visit their native land.

Because children adopted from Kyrgyzstan, a little family in America have maintained close communication with each other. Most of these families became a member of The Kyrgyz Children's Future (The Future of Kyrgyz children). The organization carries out cultural activities, collects donor contributions for the orphanage in Kyrgyzstan and allows adoptive parents to maintain communication between them. A society without children's homes?

Someone might say that the background of general poverty in the country, hundreds of thousands of children live in villages, where hunger and child labor is part of everyday life. And the conditions for the upbringing of the younger generation sometimes worse than orphans. Do not dispute that our society is divided on the poor majority and the rich minority, and many families can not afford a thorough care. But the chances of the children's successful future is much higher in the conditions under which they are in a stable environment in the company even employed, but, nevertheless, loved people. These children, though poor, will have the opportunity to learn to love, care and compassion.

Why is it American families have been waiting for the abolition of the moratorium in Kyrgyzstan? The answer is simple: the U.S. leads the world in adoption of children from abroad - every year American families adopt up to 120,000 children, of whom more than 30,000 from other countries. For some Americans who have adopted children from the former Soviet Union, it was important to adopt a child from a country where children are just in children's homes rather than in foster care. Not surprisingly, these parents are the principle against the education of children in orphanages. In the U.S. there is no children's homes. American parents wishing to adopt infants, must stand in long queues.

In the early 1990's, American families adopt children mainly from Eastern Europe. In particular, Poland, Romania and the Baltic countries. However, as these economies develop, reduce the number of abandoned children and the increased number of local families willing to adopt. Today in these countries, foster care is almost completely replaced the orphanage.

Unfortunately, because of the sad experience of the moratorium Kyrgyzstan becomes unattractive country for international adoptions. More social orphans of our country will probably never be able to get a chance to grow in a circle of loving family members.

Politics and government of Kyrgyzstan must do everything possible to improve the system of international adoptions as long as there will not be debugged reliable system of internal adoption.

Defend the idea of children's homes today - it's like to assert that there are children deserving of love, and there are deserving children live in "the social nature reserves." Of these moral considerations Kyrgyzstan should strive to establish as soon as possible adoption at the national and international level.


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