E's 4th Birthday

Today is E's 4th birthday. While she has not been in the orphanage since birth, she has spent all 4 of her precious birthdays there.

 

In an orphanage in Guayaquil, Ecuador.

Can you imagine spending your birthday in an orphanage? I'm comforted (in an extremely small way) by the fact that she doesn't know much outside of the world in which she lives in. She doesn't realize what she's missing (hopefully). Her heart (God willing) isn't aching for a mommy and daddy to wake her up on the morning of her birthday with hugs and kisses.

Will they remember it's her birthday? Will they celebrate with the other children? We can only hope that someone there remembers it's her special day, and that today she is made to feel extraordinary -- because of course she is.

Thank you so much to everyone for reaching out to us on her birthday. In lieu of any birthday gifts, please consider leaving a wish for her: 100 Buenos Deseos
Her wishes will help fund her plane ticket HOME!!

The days continue to go by, and we are still not with our little girl. Today makes it that much harder for us. We do have some good news though ...

Our I-800 application should have finally gone out in the mail on Thursday.  Yippee!
If everything goes as planned (ha!) we should receive approval in 2-3 weeks. Not sure how the holidays will play into that, but we're hoping it's not an issue. After receiving I-800 approval, USCIS will send notice to the Consulate in Ecuador. In about 10ish days, the Consulate will issue the Article 5 Letter, which is what we need to be able to travel and officially begin our in-country process.  That should put us at about mid-January, which is a fine time for us to leave this chilly climate, and head on down to hot Ecuador!

I Used to Love Rollercoasters ...

When we were kids, we couldn't wait to go to Six Flags Great America. We did an annual trip every year with our family, and then when I got into Middle School my friends and I would find rides down to Gurnee, stay for the day, and have another parent pick us up. We would wait in line for hours to get onto the coasters. While in line we would eat lemon ice chillers, funnel cakes, and cheese fries. We would sometimes make plans to meet other friends there -- or sometimes even boys! Riding the roller coasters was fun. We would scream and laugh, and when the ride was done, we would get off, and race to the next coaster to stand in line for another hour. Riding rollercoasters never got old. Year after year, we would return and go on those rides that we have loved for so long.

 

Now, however, I am on a rollercoaster that I don't like so much.

 

This rollercoaster doesn't seem to end.

 

This rollercoaster doesn't give me the fun tickles in my tummy. 

 

This rollercoaster is called adoption.

 

Maybe that's not a fair statement. I wouldn't call Akyl a "rollercoaster". I wouldn't call E a "rollercoaster". But the process in which we are in so that we may become parents?

 

Yes, that rollercoaster.

 

It sucks.

 

Our I-800 application still has not been sent out. When I spoke to our agency last week, we were told that they should have the translations and be able to get the application out that day. It's been 8 days, and they still don't have the translations finished, which means they can't send our application out.

 

What does that mean?

 

It means that our 2-3 weeks, plus 10ish day "timeline" has not started yet. I don't want to say the dreaded "D" word ... but our timeline has been somewhat postponed. We aren't happy campers.

 

I think this rollercoaster is literally killing me. Taking years off my life.

 

All the while, it just means more time for sweet E in the damn orphanage.

 

¡Muchas Cosas Buenas!

Lots of Good Things!

1 - Last week Friday we were notified by our agency that we have finally received the Formal Assignment letter from the committee in Ecuador - yay! Illlien was still working on getting the accompanying documents translated (about 15 pages), and said they would probably have everything ready to go early next week. This came from out of the blue, because the day before when I had talked to my program coordinator, she said that there was a "crisis" in Ecuador with another family who is currently in-country. We of course said we would send our prayers to the family and hoped there was a quick resolution.

2 - This weekend we spent some time in Madison to celebrate Ryan's birthday and the good news that our letter FINALLY came. The weather was amazing for December! We didn't have anything specific planned so we just walked around downtown, did a little shopping, and had an amazing dinner a restaurant called Graze. Sometimes it's fun just to get away for a little bit.

3 - This morning, I called Illien on my way into work. Our program coordinator said that she will likely have all the documents translated today, and should be able to send our I-800 application out! Our timeline should be as follows:  2-3 weeks for application approval; then another 10 days before we get the Article 5 letter from the Embassy in Ecuador. We cannot fly until we receive the Article 5 Letter. We aren't holding our breath, but that's 4 weeks, right????

4 - Today is also Ryan's birthday -- we tend to have week-long birthday celebrations around here. Or at least we use it as an excuse to eat out, not have to do laundry, not have to empty the dishwasher, etc. The person who's birthday it is not then has to pick-up the slack :)
Tonight we celebrated with Qdoba burritos and a DQ ice cream cake!

5 - At a work meeting this morning, Ryan found out some good news that he's been hoping for.

6 - Then a few hours later, he got an email that he had won a sweepstakes for a Maytag front loader laundry pair! Our washer and dryer are 20+ years old. We don't replace them because they still work just fine, albeit extremely inefficient. We are still trying to figure out if this is legit, but all signs point to yes!

7 - And last but not least -- on my lunch break I got a call from a grant organization that we applied to a few months ago. They had their last quarterly meeting of the year and decided to award a grant to us. We have applied to dozens of grants and have given up on the idea that we would have actually gotten one. But we did!! I'm not sure what the amount is, but since we are getting so close to going for our girl, Every.Little.Bit.Counts.

Because he was having such a lucky day, Ryan stopped and got some lottery tickets on his way home. Two of them are drawn tonight, one tomorrow. Crossing our fingers!!!

I'm sure the next few weeks will be an absolute blur for us. There are many things that we would like to accomplish before our travels. And by the way, how do you pack for an 8 week stay??

We are so excited to finally have some forward movement. Things are certainly not perfect, but are definitely starting to look up!!!

Pumpkin Spice Latte

Ingredients:

• ½ cup milk

• ½ cup coffee
• 3 tablespoons pumpkin purée
• 2 tablespoons agave nectar (more to sweeten)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• ½ teaspoon nutmeg
• ½ teaspoon cloves

Add pumpkin purée, milk, and agave nectar to a small pot over medium heat and whisk quickly for about 5 minutes. Add in pumpkin pie spices and vanilla, and continue to whisk. Your spices may not totally dissolve into the milk; if you prefer a smoother texture, use less of the spices, or add it them at the end.

Once the milk is frothy and bubbling, add it to your mug. Pour in the coffee on top, and you're good to go. Of course, there's always the option to add whipped cream and more spices on top for an extra pumpkin-y drink.

This drink is definitely yummy, but doesn't taste as pumpkin-y as I would like, and the cloves are incredibly strong. For the future, I will definitely do less cloves ... maybe some ginger? More pumpkin purée?

In Other News ...

Well. There really is no news. My plan for being on my agency like Flies On You Know What didn't really work out too good. It doesn't matter how much I'm on them if they just avoid ...

After writing that post last Tuesday, I called my agency and I was going to really let her have it. I said my peace, but then ended up crying my head off at the end of the conversation. I partly blame my pending sickness (double ear ache/infection that had me down for about 3 days) for that part. She ensured me that she understood the urgency, and that she would be working on "Ecuador" stuff tomorrow (last Wednesday) and that she should have updated pictures and video of E for us. I told her that I had to work all day, but that I would be looking forward to her email with all the details, and we would be ecstatic to receive updated pictures. Most importantly, we are still needing that Formal Assignment letter from the committee in order to apply for our I-800 and MOVE FORWARD! Wednesday came and went ... nothing. I got incredibly sick Wednesday so I didn't bother to try and connect. But then Thursday came and went ... and nothing. Thursday night I emailed her and reminded her what she told me about "working on Ecuador" Wednesday and that I wanted answers. Late Friday night, I finally got an email with a few more documents, not necessarily important documents and some were duplicates, and absolutely no updates. Extremely frustrating. E is a waiting child, so I'm just baffled as to why it is taking so incredibly long to get things in order. Ryan has done a good job of reminding me that we have only been in process from Ecuador for a few months -- but we have been doing this dance for far too long. We haven't gotten any updates about our daughter since we started this process. The initial paperwork we received was written when she was 2 1/2 years old. We know nothing more beyond those documents from October 2011. At first I just accepted it, because we would be traveling so soon to go and get her. I didn't want any time wasted on updated pictures or videos because we would be there soon enough and I could get my own pictures and videos. I just wanted them to get the paperwork in order so we could GO!

Of course, my plans have once again been thrown off course. As I talked about in Expectations, my timeline for all of this obviously doesn't matter. But now it's come to a point, where things will start to get difficult. I put off school this semester and took an Independent Study. My I.S. is to study Latino culture while in Ecuador, and write a research paper. It is to also include 6 weeks of journaling during my stay in country. Not quite sure what I'm going to do, but obviously that isn't going to work. Of course there are other parts to the class, so I'll be diligently finishing that up and begging my professor to try and find something that can work for the requirements. Since I'm only taking 3 credits, and I've dropped below half-time status, my student loan deferral is up next month and I'll be required to start making payments. Since Ryan graduated in May, his payment deferral is also up -- and so we'll be required to start making payments of nearly $600/month starting mid-December. We don't exactly have that lying around, and since we're working we don't exactly qualify for any sort of hardship. I will, of course, do my best to try and convince them that we are indeed in financial hardship!

Since we didn't travel this semester, we will be likely traveling next semester (God willing!)... which means that I won't be able to enroll for classes, further delaying my payment deferment. Had I known, I would've stayed enrolled for all of my classes for Fall Semester. If only I knew.

We're coming up on the end of another year, and Ryan will have to forfeit weeks of vacation, again. I've lost count on how many he's lost over the years. He always saves them so that we can use them when it's time to travel for the adoption. His weeks don't roll over, so if he doesn't use them, he loses them. This year we saved again because, of course, we knew we'd be there and back before the end of the year. If only we knew.

The adoption tax credit is set to expire December 31st, so we will likely miss out on that too if it doesn't get renewed. Check out the website, and see how you can help advocate to keep the credit. We could really use all the help we can get!!

Worst of all ... E's birthday is in 34 days. We won't be there. Birthdays have been incredibly hard over the years. It kills me that she will turn 4 years old. In that orphanage. Without a family.

I need help maintaining a positive frame of mind. Please help me.

Meatless Mondays: Cranberry Quinoa

In an effort to eat more healthy, and save more money ... we've decided to try for Meatless Mondays. This weekend I tried a delicious recipe that will definitely be good for Meatleass Monday!! I'm calling it:

Cranberry Quinoa

Ingredients:

• 1 cup Quinoa
• 1/2 cup Sliced Blanched Almonds
• 1 cup Broth Stock
• 1 1/2 cups Boiling Water
• 1/2 tsp Salt
• 1 Cinnamon Stick
• 1 Bay Leaf
• 1/2 cup Dried Cranberries

Over medium heat, stir and toast the slivered almonds until golden. Add the quinoa and toast for a few more minutes until it begins to darken. Transfer the toasted quinoa and almonds to a 2 quart saucepan and add the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil, cover and reduce heat to simmer for about 20 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to sit for 5 minutes. Fluff gently with a fork and serve.

PS - I always rinse my Quinoa before cooking. Use a fine mesh strainer and dry for about 20 minutes to remove all the water. This step avoids have mushy grains.

Flies On You Know What

At the end of last week we received a couple documents which we've been waiting for, and that we need in order to file our I-800. Of course, we're still missing the most important piece, the Formal Assignment Letter. When I last spoke with my agency, I suggested that our ICC (In-Country Coordinator) just politely ask the committee to review our file. Seems simple enough, right? So far no word.

 

This has dragged on far too long. Starting today, I'm going to be on them like flies on you know what ...

 

We have been doing this dance for far too long. I'm a hurting mama, and it seems as though I'm being dragged through the mud. For purposes of this adoption, things have certainly moved along quite well. But as I said in my last post, we keep making plans just so they get jacked up. Well, it's still happening. Just for once I would like my plan to be seen through. Just once.

Divertido

I feel like for the last three or so years we haven't been really living. Everything we've done has had to be centered around our adoption from Kyrgyzstan. We never wavered in our dedication in bringing Akyl home, but all of our decisions were so heavily weighted by it. I feel like we missed out on a lot. What exactly? I'm not sure ...

 

In 2010, we took the leap and made the move to Fond du Lac. We were afraid though because it meant starting over with our homestudy (new agency and all), and our biggest fear was being caught without up-to-date documents and Kyrgyzstan would call and tell us to come and get him. Of course, that never happened.

 

We put off trips and vacations because we were afraid to spend any money for fear that we would get "the call", and be short on funds. Last summer, we decided to take a road trip, and did it on as small of a budget as possible. We were on a constant roller-coaster of emotions. We were often given glimpses of good news, and then another delay ... glimpses of good news, and then another delay ...

And after that fateful day, and all is said and done, here we sit ... son-less.

Heart-broken.

Grief-stricken.

Forever changed with an Akyl-size emptiness in our hearts.

We've decided this time around (and from here on out) that we are going to do things different. We will continue to live our lives. We're going to be HAPPY, and look forward to life. We still won’t be going on any lavish trips in the near future because of course, we’re absolutely broke … but we will do things that we enjoy and not put off life because we’re waiting. Always waiting.

Speaking of waiting. Waiting has become the most dreaded thing ever, and that also needs to change. Was it Kyrgyzstan that changed us? Made waiting so incredibly awful? Filled us with SO MUCH anxiety? Or does waiting really just suck that much?

The other day I was complaining to Ryan about how sick I am of "waiting". I was complaining that the Ecuadorian government was taking far too long. Why haven’t they issued the Formal Assignment Letter? She is a waiting child after all, and they asked Illien to find a family for her. Here we are!!! Give us the letter so we can come and get her! His response was this: Jes, it’s happening. We just have to be patient. She WILL come home. I know you, and you complete fall apart when you don't have control over something. You’re letting this get the best of you, and you need to let it go, because you do not have control. It will happen. It is happening. She is coming home.

I do have a tendency to be a bit of a control-freak, this I know.

 

I want to be excited. I want the wait to be filled with enthusiasm, and anxiety-free anticipation. How do I manage that?

 

Meanwhile, we've been having fun. We're starting to enjoy life again. We are enjoying time as a family camping and weekends away. We're setting aside time for fun with friends. We working on projects around the house, and fun, crafty projects. 

We recently discovered the Pabst Theater in Milwaukee, and went to a weekday show to see The Mountain Goats. The tickets are not very expensive, and the trip to Milwaukee is only about an hour. It's an awesome venue with comfortable seats. Definitely something we'll do again!

 

Tonight we recorded the Curious George book that we will send to E. We were dying laughing at first, and had to keep re-recording. After we finished, we went back to listen, and re-recorded some more because we wanted to have our voices a certain way for her to hear. Then we laughed some more and recorded funny pages, just to laugh some more.

Tomorrow we'll ship out the doll, photo album and book. I also put together a collage of photos on an 8x10 sheet for her to have.

Hopefully soon we can be united. Espero

 

Life is exciting and I want to enjoy it. I want to have fun!

Expectations

When we were initially planning to start this adoption process (early Spring), we had many conversations with our agency about the timeline for completion. Originally, the plan was to travel and complete over the summer so that I could be back before school started in the Fall with enough time to get E settled in at home with a plan for school and/or daycare. Ideally, this would ensure that I didn’t have another delay in my education, and of course we would be able to get her home lickity-split! My agency reminded me that this process involves a human life, and that there were always unforeseen delays that may arise. I, of course, was initially offended. Undoubtedly, this was a human process -- I mean, isn’t that the reason people adopt children? To add another human to your family? I also have a good deal of experience with “unforeseen delays”, so this was not breaking news to me.

 

As we waited for additional medical tests (more than 9 weeks), the dream of summer completion slowly started to fade.

 

I really don’t like it when my plans get mucked up.

 

So I started to make new plans. The new plan included putting off school for the Fall and completing our adoption during this semester. This would give us enough time for 8 weeks in country, the rest of the year home on FMLA, and the opportunity to apply for additional FMLA time for 2013. This would also give us a sufficient amount of time to make a plan for school/day care for E, and I would be signed up for full-time during Spring semester. I ended up taking an Independent Study this semester to study Latino culture. I am supposed to use my time in Ecuador for my assignments and research. The plan was early Fall.

 

It’s almost November.

 

We still have not received the Formal Assignment letter from the “authorities” in Ecuador. Our dossier has been with them since early this month. I have not been given any timeline, as it seems that nobody knows how long it should take. We need this letter in addition to the child referral documents (news to me as of last week) in order to file for the I-800. The I-800 itself generally takes 2-3 weeks to process and get approved. At which point, they start the process of issuing the Article 5 letter which allows us to travel. Still so much to get through before we can travel to the great port city of Guayaquil and bust our girl out of that orphanage.

This week our agency asked us to start to think about what we would like to send to E to start the bonding process. I ordered a cloth doll online, and had her name embroidered on the bottom of the dress. We will also send a small, smooshy photo book with photos of us, our puppies and our house. I just also received a fantastic tip from an AP who recently returned home with her daughter from Ecuador ... she suggested that we get one of those books that you can record yourself reading. Ryan and I will hit the stores tomorrow, and hopefully find something that we can record and also send to Ecuador.

In the meantime ... Espero
 

Weekends

The weeks just keep going by, and we still have no idea when we'll be leaving for our sweet little girl. Our paperwork is currently with the "authorities" and we're now waiting for the Official Match Letter so that we can apply for the I-800. Once we receive the I-800 Approval and Article 5 Letter that accompanies it, we can travel.

Hartman Creek State Park
In the meantime, we've had a couple of good weekends. Last weekend we camped in Waupaca at the Hartman Creek State Park with our friends Christian and Diana and their two sons. We arrived late Friday night, and I was afraid that I was going to freeze my butt off because it was cold!! Ryan and I stayed in our van, and luckily since he's a gear freak, he had me all set up with a zero degree sleeping bag. Both puppies and I were cuddled in that bag all night! I even had to sleep with my arms out at one point because it got a little warm :)

On Saturday morning we all bundled up and set out for a 5 mile hike on the Ice Age Trail. We signed up for the Hike-A-Thon and got drinks and snacks before heading out into the woods. We had a lot of fun!

We ended our day at camp with a fire, dinner, s'mores, and scary stories! Ryan learned that he will have to work on watering down his stories for young children :)

Saturday night was colder than the night before and I wasn't as snuggy warm as Friday, but the sleeping bag still worked fine. I do however, think that sleeping outside season is over for me :)

 

 

 

 6th Anniversay

On Saturday Ryan and I and our pups spent the day in Milwaukee for our Anniversary. We got a room at the Hotel Metro downtown and had dinner there as well. The weather was really nasty, so we didn't get to do most of the things that we planned, but we still had a nice, relaxing time and our meals were fantastic!