Chicago...ish

Tomorrow morning I'm headed to Cary, IL. Ryan has been in Schaumburg for training this whole week, and this weekend we'll be going to J's wedding. We're totally psyched to see old friends. J and Hannah were married in Hawaii this past week and now they're having a reception to celebrate with family. On my way there, I'm going to swing through my hometown and stop at a super great outlet mall. I have a dress, but don't love it - if I do end up wearing it, I'll need some bronze pumps. Otherwise they have a BCBG outlet mall with 100's of dresses! I'll also be sure to go to the Gap, um, and get baby outfits too of course :)

No news on our travel dates. Of course there are rumors, but there are always rumors. I think that I cry at least every other day. I still have not brought myself to putting together Arsin's crib. It's really hard! I got a call from Ryan today on my lunch and he had also had a hard day...all the emotions just came up at once for him. We really need time together to process everything. This weekend will be good for us. Time away from home, in a hotel...one that actually allows dogs! Dora and Gipsi are very excited for our road trip to see Daddy tomorrow.



It's so hard to get them to pose together. Took me 10 minutes to get this picture because they just kept fighting each other :)

October 13th

Two years ago on Friday, October 13th, Ryan and I said "I do". This year we celebrated at home with our two puppies. We were sad, because this was the day that we envisioned traveling to pick up Arsin. Obviously that did not happen. We haven't even heard from our agency for two weeks. No emails. No news. The wait is getting tougher and tougher, as we knew it would. It's very heartbreaking. We don't have a clue when we'll travel and we just keep being told that "we'll be contacted as soon as they know something." I just wish they knew something NOW! Our baby boy is continuing to grow and he needs his mommy and daddy. We are trying to stay in good spirits, and we are constantly asked..."So...when's the big day?" It's so hard to tell people over and over again that "we don't know, and we don't know when we'll know".

5:07:16...

Not exactly the time I was hoping for...but I suppose it's pretty good for someone who hasn't run in six weeks!!!

First I need to back up a couple of days. I had my cortisone shot on Wednesday that left me with a very sore booty! By Friday it seemed to pretty much subside. I worked right up until midnight on Friday night (not ideal, but I didn't have a choice). We completely forgot about getting someone to take care of Dora and Gipsi. How do you forget that?!?!? We got that figured out and had a young girl stay at our house for the weekend. Saturday morning we got up and packed. I absolutely suck at packing and it never fails that whenever we go somewhere, I forget something important! Friday night I actually had Ryan make me a list so that I at least had something to go by (he's so good to me!) Well...this trip wasn't any different than any other. After about 45 minutes of driving I realized that I forgot my sports bra. Duh. I'm very particular about that bra too. Every long run I've done throughout my training, I wear the same bra and the same shorts...

We got to Minneapolis at about 11:30 and we headed right to the Target Center to get our race packets. We were with Jen (one of my running buds), her husband and their two daughters. We walked around the expo, got a t-shirt, watched a speech given by Kristin Armstong, and I found a bra that I though might work. So stupid though, who forgets their sports bra?? It turns out that the bra was the least of my issues on race day!

The forecast said 60% chance light rain. We headed to the Metrodome at 6:30 to get ready for the race. The clouds didn't seem too bad and it wasn't actually that cold out either. We were debating whether or not we wanted to start with pants on or just shorts, long sleeve shirts, or just our short sleeves, gloves or no gloves, hat or no hat. We all started in just our shorts, long sleeves (short sleeves under) our running hats, and we shared a pair of gloves between the three of us. The race started at 8:00 a.m. sharp and still no rain. We ran no longer than 10 minutes before it started to come down. Within minutes it was an all out down pour!! Unfortunately that down pour lasted for four hours. At first I was furious, but then I realized that there was nothing I could do about the rain and I told Jen and Kristin that we need to just make peace with the rain because it isn't going to stop. I was right. I don't think that the rain stopped until about mile 20. It was really cold at first too. My shirt was soaking wet and just hanging off me. My shoes had to way at least 20 pounds! It was just puddle after huge puddle. Sometimes the rain would slow down to just a sprinkle and we would get all excited, only to be dissapointed by another down fall!

I started the race with a aching pain in my hip. I took ibuprofen before the race and had extras in my pocket for a few hours later - sadly, the rain melted them in my shorts! The hip pain never got worse than a dulling toothache pain. Eventually it was in both hips though which is weird, but still never really "painful". About half way through the race I started to get a shooting pain in my knee. I tried to just push through it and forget about it, but it just continued to get worse. Throughout all of my training, I never had any real knee issues. I guess it could be due to the fact that I hadn't run in six weeks and I stubbornly decided to go out and run the marathon anyhow. Eventually I had to stop and walk. I continued at a speed walk pace and the pain would go away...then I would try to run again. To no avail the pain kept on coming back. I told Jen and Kristin to go on without me - I felt bad for holding them back - and they had trained so hard for so long, they deserved to be able to just run the race like intended. Kristin said, "We started together and we're going to finish together." I ran the next 16 miles with the continued pain in my knee. I would run for as long as I could take it and then walk for a minute or so, then run...and walk. It totally sucked. I really tried to be at peace with myself and with the pain. Instead I kept finding that I was just getting angry. At about mile 23 or 24 I stopped to use the port-a-potty and the girls kept on going (which is what I had intended many miles back). I ran the next 2.2 miles mostly in tears.
I was upset that although my biggest fear was pulling out due to my hip pain, it was my knee that ultimately put me in excrutiating pain.

I was upset that I was stupid enough to think that I could actually run without having some kind of injury.

I was upset and mad at myself for continuing knowing that Jen and Kristin would not want to go on without me - ultimately hindering them from running a better race.

I was upset that I didn't have anyone to talk to about how I was feeling...

You'd be amazed at how many emotions you go through once you've had 5 hours to just be in your head!!! Once I had mile 26 in sight, I decided to shake it off - my crying baby fit, not the knee pain, I couldn't shake that off! At about 25.9 miles I was running alongside an older woman, maybe 55 years old. A spectator yelled out something to her about "making it this far". She let out a loud whimper and I looked over and she began to tear up. She was so proud for having made it this far. Instantly I was in tears again! I was so proud of her and I don't even know who she is!

The last .2 miles is just a long line of spectators on either side cheering you on and yelling out names of family members or friends of theirs that are finishing. I saw my husband in that croud and he was yelling out to me too. The end was so near and I just felt like I couldn't run fast enough to get there. Just on the other side of the finish line Jen and Kristin, already sporting their medals, were waiting for me with tears in their eyes. They walked with me while I got my medal. We went to get our finisher t-shirts, bottles of water, bags of potato chips, and bananas...I think Kristin also got some milk :) We met our families on the other side of the finish line and changed into dry clothing. It was amazing how freezing cold it actually was when you were done running. It's so crazy how instantly every ounce of energy you have is gone. Ryan told Jen that I was her inspiration that last two miles of the race, but really she was so strong and finished so strong that she did not need any inspiration!

On our way to back to the hotel Ryan asked me, "What was the best part?" Sadly, I couldn't think of an answer and I felt horrible. Then what he said, having run a dozen marathons himself, was this, "It really sucks because for most races the best part is the first 10 or so miles and for you guys it was pouring rain and freezing out."

He was right. Now that I've had more time to think about it, the best part for me was that Jen and Kristin were able to finish strong and feel good at the end. Running for five hours is not easy, whether you've trained for it or not. Running in the rain for five hours is even worse! I'm really proud of them for their accomplishment!

Tonight I got a call from Jen once they arrived back home. She said, "I just wanted to call and tell you that you did a great job. I'm so proud of you. I also wanted to say I'm sorry for not finishing with you. It was really important to me that we finished together. You stopped for the bathroom and I just couldn't stop."

I'm lucky to have such good friends. I was never upset at them for not finishing with me. It's not easy to run for five hours, much less slow down or stop when you're in a groove. We were all anxious to finish and to be honest if I was feeling really good, I wouldn't want to stop either! I know that sounds kind of selfish, but the last thing you want to do is slow down because it really messes up the flow you got going!

I didn't have any real epiphanies during my race like I thought I would. I think I was so focued on the rain, and on the pain in my knee that I didn't have time for much else. Training for this marathon has really been a lot like our adoption process. It's been long and grueling. I've mostly followed a strict training scheduled. I've encountered some major bumps in the road that put off my ultimate goal. I jumped through hoops to be able to even do the marathon. In the end it was all worth it. I really do have a sense of accomplishment. I went out and ran 26.2 miles and finished still standing! Being able to walk the rest of the week is another story :) Would I do it again? Call me crazy, but I think yes. I'd like to be able to do it without any training injuries. I'd like to know how I could actually do without the knee (or hip, or foot) pain. For now, I'm just going to take it easy. I'm going to focus on sending good vibes, mojo, juju, you name it to Kyrgyzstan so that the committee will finally continue with waiting families' paperwork. I'm going to focus on traveling to get my baby boy! It's always worth it in the end :)

Check back for pictures...

My booty hurts!!!

On Tuesday I went in for Acupunture. He also did some nueralink treatment on me as well. Pretty cool actually. I'm not a big fan of needles to the actual acupuncture wasn't as cool. The last needle that went in went right through my piriformus. It hurt like hell and most of my leg went numb! Afterwards he said that I would probably be tender because that muscle was tight to begin with, but it was necessary to have that needle there. It was interesting to learn about the several causes/reasons for why things happen. I think that after my marathon I may continue with acupuncture/neuralink treatment...I'll just steer clear of any needles in my piriformus for a while!

Yesterday I went back to the ortho to get a cortisone shot. I made sure to make my appointment at a time when Ryan was available to hold my hand!! I am such a baby and those cortisone needles are HUGE! Now my booty really hurts :( I suppose it's my hip actually, but that whole side/back of my upper leg/butt hurts! Today I was home sick...not exactly sure what's wrong or what's going on, maybe I just needed a day to stay home and rest - which is exactly what I've done ALL DAY!

I got a new physical therapist report today on baby Arsin. It isn't like that last form in the least bit. It actually just states all of the dates that they have given him Ultraviolet Irradiation. What the hell is ultraviolet irradiation??? I have an email into my coordinator. I want to know what the heck is going on. My IAP said that it is sometimes used to help treat rickets, but it can also be used to make sure the babies are getting Vitamin D. If he needs Vitamin D - I will send him some!

Still no word on any movement. Our dossier is in Kyrgyzstan, and our coordinator is expecting it to go to the committee next week. I wonder...does this have a direct corillation to when we'll travel??

Cortisone injection side effects...

Well, my marathon is in 6 days, one week from yesterday. I have an appointment today with my PT and another one on Thursday. I'm going to talk to her more about the cortisone shot. If I get it, and I can run this marathon (that I've trained diligently for!)without any permanent damage...I may just do it. i still don't like the idea of it, but I am so frustrated. Really, running is what has gotten me through most of this summer! All the drama at my summer job, all the drama about our adoption...

I've been looking up side effects, and here's what I've found so far:

Question: What are the side effects of a cortisone injection?

Cortisone injections are used for the treatment of many different orthopedic problems including arthritis , tendonitis, and bursitis.

Cortisone is an anti-inflammatory medication, not a pain killer. However, by reducing inflammation, pain often subsides.

Answer: Cortisone injections are very safe to perform. Side effects tend to be rare and minor. However, there are a few potential side effects of a cortisone injection that patients should know about.

Systemic Side Effects
Systemic side effects occur as a result of a small amount of the cortisone entering the bloodstream and affecting your entire body, not just the location where the cortisone was given. Systemic side effects of a local injection of cortisone are rare and usually minor. Unlike taking oral steroids, or having cortisone injected directly into the bloodstream, only a small amount of a local injection is absorbed by the body. And since the body actually produces cortisone naturally, most people do not experience systemic effects. Those who do may experience:

Elevated Blood Sugar
The most common systemic reaction is seen in diabetic patients. Patients with diabetes should carefully monitor their blood sugar as cortisone can cause a temporary rise in their levels. Patients taking insulin should be especially careful, checking their blood sugar often and adjusting the insulin doses, if necessary.

Facial Flushing
Patients may experience flushing sensation and redness of their face. This reaction is more common in women and is seen into up to 15 percent of patients. This can begin within a few hours of the injection and may last for a few days.

Local Side Effects
Local side effects are those that are only experienced in one area of the body. The local side effects of a cortisone injection are also rare.

Pain
Some patients have discomfort after the injection and may experience an increase in pain 24 to 48 hours after being treated. This usually subsides quickly and can be aided with an ice pack and anti-inflammatory medication.

Infection
Whenever there is a break in the skin, like when a needle is used to administer cortisone, there is a chance of infection. Your doctor will sterilize the skin to minimize the risk of infection.

Skin Pigment Changes
Patients with darker skin should also be aware that cortisone may cause skin around the injection site to lighten. This is not harmful.

Loss of Fatty Tissue
High doses of cortisone can have detrimental effects on some tissues in the body. When injected into fatty tissue, cortisone can lead to a problem called fat atrophy. Fat atrophy causes loss of fatty tissue, which can lead to dimpling of the skin or the thinning out of fat. Patients who get cortisone injections in the heel to treat plantar fasciitis may find walking painful as fat that usually cushions their steps may thin out.

Tendon Rupture
Cortisone can also cause weakening of tendons. This is one reason your doctor may limit the number of cortisone injections administered. Cortisone can also lead to tendon rupture, as is the case when cortisone is injected for Achilles tendonitis.

Are Cortisone Injections Safe?
Cortisone injections are extremely safe, but they do still carry potential problems. If you are concerned about having a cortisone shot, talk with your doctor. While cortisone is a powerful treatment for many orthopedic conditions, there are usually other options that can also be tried.

Doesn't seem too bad...right??

Hip, Orthopedic, Physical Therapist...run??

For the past couple of weeks I have been seeing a Physical Therapist for my hip issues. First they thought is was an issue with my IT band. Turns out my IT band is incredibly flexible! Then she was saying Bursitis, and still maybe an issue with the IT band, but not a tight IT band. Ugh. Last week she was concerned that maybe I might have a stress fracture in/on my hip. She made me do all these weird things, jump up and down...one foot...then the other. This week I got in with an orthopedic so that we could rule out a stress fracture or anything else that could be permanently damaging. Nope! However, I did find out that my pelvis is incredibley unbalanced and that if I were to ever get pregnant I would have serious complications. Geez - it's a good thing we're adopting!! Who gets a pelvis x-ray before they think about having kids???

Anyhow, so he said if I do chose to run, I won't do any real permanent damage, I'll just be really sore for a long time. He still suggested that I don't...I haven't made up my mind. I did run three miles on Tuesday and my hip was still hurting. I have not really run since my 22 mile run on August 30th. I tried three miles two weeks ago and it still hurt. A week and a half ago I got a one month membership to the gym. I was able to go twice and workout on the elliptical - problem is my access card still doesn't work! I got up early and went to the gym at 5:30 and the stupid thing doesn't work! It's a SNAP Fitness so it is rarely staffed so I could not get in! I was totally peeved.

Really sucks to train for so long for nothing! We are still planning to go to the cities and I'm going to actually take a few days off!! It's been a long time since I've had a day off and I'm really looking forward to being in the city.

Happy 6 Months!

Today our precious little boy turns 6 months old. Another month goes by without any word on when we will be able to travel and get him. Tonight I'm at work with my little votive candle burning brightly and praying for the committee to take action. This morning in bed Ryan and I were visualizing a pick-up date. We both closed our eyes for a moment and then revealed the date we were thinking of...and wouldn't you know we were both thinking of the same date!!! Our anniversary is October 13th and we both visualized that as being the day we can bring home Arsin. At this point, I'd even settle for that being a day we can travel to get him!

Hang on tight baby boy - we love you and we'll come and get you as soon as your government allows us!!

Anonymous Donation!

Long day today...worked 15 1/2 hours and just got home.

When I got here about a half hour ago (10:15 p.m.) I went went to the mailbox...and to my surprise, there was an envelope in there labeled "Anon. Donation for Arsin Scheel Adoption Fund" and there was a very generous gift of $100! I wish that we knew who it was so we knew who to thanks! If you read this....THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! It's so nice to know there are people out there who are supporting us in this long, long process. People who care and supporting us through this roller coaster of a ride.

I had a rough day today. No real reason really, but I was really sad and missing Arsin. I teared up a handful of times for the smallest things. Very strange...my adoption hormones are kicking in again!!!

I got a call from the doctors office today. They want me to set up an appointment with an orthopedic! I've been going to physical therapy for a couple of weeks for my hip. I haven't run in 17 days!!! My marathon is less than 3 weeks away and I'm really nervous. Now they are afraid it might be a stress fracture in my hip and they just want to rule it out before moving forward. I did go to the gym today and did the elliptical for 45 minutes. My hip didn't hurt at all! Problem is, I can't do the elliptical for my marathon! Stay tuned...

Dossier in Bishkek

Our dossier finally made it to Bishkek today. What a relief!! Now we can knock that off the list. Still waiting to hear what happens next...

Arsin's crib was delivered today and I am so excited to put it together! Now we just need the mattress to go with it - oh and the bedding too!

Work has been crazy and I think I've worked about 95 days straight at least 12 hour days each day. I'll be so happy when I get that phone call and they say that we need to pack up and get our boy! But until then...

On it's way to Kyrgyzstan...

We are not on our way to Kyrgyzstan, but our dossier is! We got word today from our coordinator that our dossier left the Embassy in DC today for Bishkek!!! I was so nervous because one of our documents expired on August 31st - well the notary stamp did - and I wasn't going to say anything to jinx it. I'm sooooo happy that everything went through okay and it's now on the way!

We got some new pictures of our baby boy thanks to a good blogger friend...you know who you are!!! It's so encouraging to receive new photos of the baby that you cannot go and pick up. I also learned earlier this week that he was sick a couple weeks ago. Totally devastated!!! Saule says he's better now, but it makes me want him home now!! So far, no new news on movement in Bishkek - we'll just have to keep praying. Hard!!

Last night I was in Arsin's room and started to sort through some things. After a while I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I had to stop. I ordered his crib today from Target and can't wait to get it here and put it together! Better yet, I can't wait for him to come home and sleep in his crib :)